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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Humor & Jokes / Viewing Topic

Good Jokes from Comedians
Replies: 8Last Post Sep. 3, 2008 5:46pm by duesxmachina
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( Miden )

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1) How do men look at women?

Women think they know , which amazes me. women will always say, "Hey, we look at guys sexually, too."
You have no idea. Its like the difference between shooting a bullet and throwing it. Trust me ladies, if you had any idea, even for a secound, of how we really looked at you, you would never stop slapping us.-- Larry Miller


2)- Women are always looking for men who dont exist. "I want an outdoorsy guy whos hilarious."  

What? If you combine those two things, you would not like it---rodeo clowns. Outdoorsy, hilarious, alcoholic, and wanted.

Then there's the girl, "I just want a guy who will give and give and give, and not want sex in return."

I actually know this guy. His names Grandpa--and he has your nose.-- Dave Attell


3)-- They say the recipe for Sprite is lemon and lime, but I tried to make it at home. There's more to it than that.
"Want some more homemade Sprite?"
"Not till you figure out what the f*ck else is in it".--Mitch Hedberg


4)--Goldilocks...I dont like that one, because she breaks into these people's house. She comes into the bear's house, she's eating their porridge, she's like, "Ooo, this is too hot."
B*tch, this ain't even your food.-  Tony Woods

5)
Every woman I meet, for some reason, I end up being the friend. Having a woman as just a friend is like having $19 in the bank and looking at your ATM card. You can see it. You know it's there. You just ain't getting to it.-  Alonzo Bodden.

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It may be true that you can't fool all the people
all the time, but you can fool enough of them to rule a
large country. -- Will Durant


1:57 pm on Sep. 3, 2008 | Joined: April 2007 | Days Active: 319
Join to learn more about Miden Alabama, United States | Straight Male | Posts: 2,870 | Points: 6,160
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Periwinkle


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I didn't find any of them funny.

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Down is the other direction.

1:59 pm on Sep. 3, 2008 | Joined: Sep. 2006 | Days Active: 913
Join to learn more about Periwinkle England, United Kingdom | GLBT Ally Female | Posts: 17,611 | Points: 33,444
CherryxBomb


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haha i cracked up a little lol

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I'm so happy.
Cause today I've found my friends, they're in my head.
I'm so ugly.
But that's okay cause so are you =]

2:01 pm on Sep. 3, 2008 | Joined: Feb. 2008 | Days Active: 297
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zombie4life


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haha, I loled.

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"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better."
"In a land of predators the lion never fears the jackal."
*XboxLive Gamer Tag- ZoMbi3 4 LiFE // AIM- thekasenator
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2:02 pm on Sep. 3, 2008 | Joined: June 2007 | Days Active: 549
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King Kong


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are they supposed to be funny

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Pandora didn't think outside the box

2:02 pm on Sep. 3, 2008 | Joined: Feb. 2006 | Days Active: 1,079
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ang42490424

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they are ok

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Where there is great love, there are always wishes.

2:02 pm on Sep. 3, 2008 | Joined: Aug. 2007 | Days Active: 372
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( Miden )

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Quote: from Periwinkle at 3:59 pm on Sep. 3, 2008

I didn't find any of them funny.



-------
It may be true that you can't fool all the people
all the time, but you can fool enough of them to rule a
large country. -- Will Durant


2:08 pm on Sep. 3, 2008 | Joined: April 2007 | Days Active: 319
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Periwinkle


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Quote: from Miden at 10:08 pm on Sep. 3, 2008

Quote: from Periwinkle at 3:59 pm on Sep. 3, 2008

I didn't find any of them funny.




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Down is the other direction.


2:09 pm on Sep. 3, 2008 | Joined: Sep. 2006 | Days Active: 913
Join to learn more about Periwinkle England, United Kingdom | GLBT Ally Female | Posts: 17,611 | Points: 33,444
duesxmachina


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"one time, i shoved an altoid up my ass. (laughter) actually, that's it." zach galiafinakus

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nothing

5:46 pm on Sep. 3, 2008 | Joined: June 2008 | Days Active: 124
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