I'm not even kidding. School is officially trying to kill me. I'm a sophomore, and this is my first year with honors and AP courses, it's health, TV pro, German, 3 honors, and an AP, no study hall. It's week two and I'm starting to lose my mind. It's too much work. I can't drop any of my classes though. Everyone has been telling me since elementary school, (Based off a fucking piece of paper a machine wrote) that I'm gifted, possibly the most in my school. It doesn't matter how fucking smart I am, this is insane. I'm also in two fucking extra curriculars. And ALL my teachers lay into me.
Back to the point though, it's adding up. I mean, it hasn't already been a month and I feel overwhelmed. In TV production(after the majority of my AP and honors) I spent the entire hour today just trying to calm myself the fuck down. Literally, I was in the corner with my head in my hands taking deep breaths. I can see how people fucking kill themselves over this.
I'm sorry, I know I've made like two topics like this before, but it's REALLY stacking up, literally if I didn't vent on LiveWire I don't know what I'd do, do you know what happened today? They've triggered this little part in the back of my mind I haven't used since I was like in 6th grade. Until TV pro my body was like fucking racing itself. I couldn't stop fidgeting at all, I was doing great class wise, My hand was always shooting up and my mind was working faster then I've ever seen it before. But it wasn't even me at that point. Literally, I couldn't stop if I'd wanted to, and I take Ritalin, which is supposed to focus me.
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I've lost the one who meant everything-so now everything means nothing.