but then, randomly, for like, a short period of time, im perfectly ok.

then im back to hating everything and everyone.
and lately im beginning to think its just not worth going through this anymore.
and sometimes i think what would it matter. but im scared to not exist.
and i just feel so helpless anymore.
and i dont know what to do, i mean i have alot of emotional issues.
my mom died when i was 2, my father was an alcoholic, so i know i have some real problems. yet i was raised to try and be strong/independent and not need help...
and idk what to do :(

any advice would help me alot, bc im about to just...do something not so good.

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so theres this Guy...
hes pretty damn amazing