Frankly speaking, I do have pretty low self esteem - I always think the worst about myself, and I feel I have to prove to myself and others that I'm worthwhile. I mean, I know I'm smart - I attend a University in the top 50 schools in the US, and I know I'm a good guy - I make and keep friends easily. But I still feel down about myself often.....being shy/reserve and not really ever having a proper girlfriend doesnt help lol.

I also have (had?) a learning disability....dypraxia - basically it's a proccessing disorder and means that it sometimes takes me a bit longer to learn something, but after a lot of help when i was younger, it's barely noticeable now - i haven't even used extra time on tests since 8th grade - but I'm sure it plays a role in the aforementioned.

Anyway, my moods do shift quit easily, and for no particular reason. One day I may feel on top of the world, and the next feel as low as ever. I get agitated and annoyed easily. I sometimes cry for no reason in particular.....I mean, I would question if I was bipolar except that I know bipolar is MUCH more drastic and dramatic than that.

My mom was a psychotherapist....isn't anymore since we moved from the UK to the US - she would have to redo training and can't be bothered. In the last few months, she repatedly asked me if I'm feeling depressed, and that she would think it would be good for me to see a therapist for someone to talk to.

I don't know how seriously or how concerned she is, but again she was a psychotherapist and brought this concept up a number of times (3+ times).

It's important to note that I have a good family, and I'm doing well (GPA 3.0) at a good university, and have nice friends, etc....it's also important to note that I sitll terribly miss London. I moved 10 years ago, but still miss my friends there (Still keep in touch with 2 of them, who i visit once a year or so) and can get very emotional and angry when thinking about it (I have dual citizenship, parents are American but I was born in England...)

I just don't know what to do or how to approach the situation. Not to take anything away from anyone, but I personally feel that saying "I'm depressed" is selfish in a way....unless you're suicidal....And yes, I have at times thought about suicide - but not seriously....I wouldnt kill myself, but it has crossed my mind, I won't lie.

Basically, I just don't know if I get sad easily or I'm depressed. I don't know if my occasional thought of sucide, even though I KNOW i'm not seriously considering it, is normal....

I just don't know what to do. Do I wait for my mom to say "Are you depressed, do you need to see a therapist?" again, even though that might take months for her to say again? Or do I instigiate it and say "Mom, I don't know if I'm depressed or not, but would feel good if I tried a therapist...."

I just don't know. I don't want unneccessary attention on me, y'know? I don't want to make something out of nothing.....but at the same time I don't want a potential problem to snowball into something massive....

sorry this is long, any help would be appreciated.

But, I do suppose, you should be prepared for whatever a psychiatrist may say. I wasn't (eventually being diagnosed with bipolar disorder), and I sort of lost it. But, I'm sure you're fine, perhaps just a bit mentally muddled. :)

I can understand what you mean... I'm sort of in the same position, and I'm stuck at this point where I keep debating whether or not I should finally make the appointment to talk to someone or not.  Suicide constantly crosses my mind, as I take the train 5 days a week and can't help but think about jumping.  But like you said, I'm not suicidal... it's more of a thought that pops out, but is nothing more than a thought, and is not something I want to act upon.

Now... is it normal?  It comes down to deciding what ~normal~ is.  Normal is all relative, and while many people may think about suicide, it may not be something that's "normal".

The thing that's important here is having YOU understand youself, and at least getting the piece of mind of KNOWING whether or not something's wrong.  Depressed or not, right now, you're stuck in that point where you can only wonder.  And that wondering causes you more stress.  You don't need to go to a therapist to "prove" you're depressed, but more give you an idea of what you're dealing with and whether or not it can be helped, don't you agree?

And if you're anything like me, you prefer to not be noticed, you don't want to worry anyone, and most importantly, you don't want to feel like you're causing anyone inconvenience... You won't take action until you are convinced it's necessary... and yet you are worried that when it is clear that it is necessary, it will already be too late.

So why not take a step now?  Say, "I don't know what's wrong, but I've decided that I'll try a therapist once and see whether or not that can clear some things up in my mind".  From there, you can decide whether or not it's necessary to go again... that's how I see it :).

Now... I just have to convince myself to do the same thing -__-'.