my name is **********
im 15 years old i have 5 brothers
******-25
******-23
******-21
******-18
******-16
and 2 sisters ****** age 26
and ******-15 (my identical twin)
im 1 minute older
i was born 5 week early
i should have been born ****** 1993
but iwas born ****** 1993
there was a few problems when i was born
i had jaundice and a heart murmer i nearli died
but i pulled through as you can tell cause im a life to day
i had to stay in hospital the first 4 weeks of my life
but after i left i had to go back for check ups to see if i was ok or not
at the age of 18 months i had my last check up the doctors said they couldnt hear anything wrong
as i grow up i lived with my mother and father
and 4 brothers and my twin sister
i didnt see my sister Donna or Anthony for the first 13 years of my life
the first 5 years of my life was great i had a reali nice childhood
seeing my grandma june and grandad reg (mothers parents) everyday of my life was reali
i think i was 5 when things started to become a living hell
i remember my father was in the kitchen with my mother and brother Adam (age 13)
im 15 years old
the first 5 years of my life was great i had a reali nice childhood
seeing my grandparents (mothers parents) everyday of my life was reali nice
i think i was 5 when things started to becoming a living hell
i remember my father was in the kitchen with my mother and 1 of my brothers.
I remember my brother saying something to my father and i heard shouting and i ran to see what was going off,i saw my dad grab my brother by the neck. I just stood and watched as he shouted more and more.
i put my hands over my ears and tears fell down my face i didnt know what to do, at 5 years old you shouldnt watch ur parents do this.
i was scared from that day on, i never saw so much anger or hate before until i saw my fathers face that day.
I still remember it,it wasnt the face that i always had saw before, maybe that was just a show for no one to know what he was reali like.
thats when my life reali turned to a living hell.
for some reason my father had a reason to hate my brother they never got along.
another day they started shouting again then i heard a big bang and ran to see what was happening, my father had my brother on the floor.he was kicking him and punching him.
he stopped when he drow blood.
thats when adam (brother)had enough he moved in with my mums parents.
Thats when he started on the rest of us,he used to hit us for any reason he wanted. even if we was sat down in his seat.
i would run up stairs away from him but he was to fast for me, he grabbed my leg and grabbed a shoe and started hitting me.He didnt care where he hit ,even if he hit us in the face.
another time we was sat in the sitting room, my father was in the other room. there was awindow so he could watch wat we was doing then my father came in and started shouting at my brother tom. my dad grabbed his arm and twisted it and it was so powerful the bone in side snapped.
he went to the hospital and the policewas called cause some one who lived near by said they could hear shouting.
the police questioned my brother but he didnt want to get my father dne cause he said that at a young age akid needs a father in there life.
thomas said to my mum that he would stay with my nan until the arm had got better so that why didnt bang in to it.
But all that mmeant was he didnt want to live at home with my dad there, so he moved in to my nans with adam
everything was the same for years to come.
i always thought why would god give some one life to life such life like this.
but god made us to live r own life,it how people make it.
my father called me fat for around a month, every single day.
i just started believing everything he said, thats when i lost loads of weight, i think it must have been about 2 stone.
i doped from a size 10 to a size 4/6.
no one was doing anything tohelp.
i was wearing a skirt and my father put his hand up it and then i turned in shock; all he said was "oh im sorry i thought u was ur mum"
my mum had reali short hair and i had long hair so it couldnt have been my mum in anyway.
some other time after he started lookig down my t-shirts,he wasmuch taller then me.
i just couldnt take any more pain that was going on so i ran to a train track where i nearli ran in front of a train but thats when my life flashed before my eyes the times i spent with my grandad (mums dad) brother he died (23rd january 2002)
and time with my family and friends i was better then this and i thought i could get out of this mess.
things was ok i guess, but my father said if i didnt behave i would go in care and wouldnt beable to see my nan :( .
so i did as he said.
He didnt see hsi parents since apirl 2005, and my father got a phone call saying my nan and grandad was in hospital and that my grandad needed an operation, he shuted down the phone and said
"they r not my fucking parents and i hpe they die"
i stood there in shock.
wat ever my grandparents had dne didnt mean he should say anything like this towards his parents.
then he got another phone call afew days after wards saying that my grandma sadly died on 6th january 2007 :(
thats when my father wanted to go and see my grandad.
the doctors said that on bowing day 2006 my grandad had a 5 hour operation and a 3 hour one the day after.
my dad went to see him on the 15th january 2007 and i went to.
i never saw my grandad like this before he was so skinny and lifeless.
we saw him for about a week before my dad got a phone call saying
"ur father is calling u, he needs you and we dont think he had long to live".
my father went to the hospital but he was to late my grandad also sadly died 2:40pm 22nd january2007
this meant 3 of my grandparents had died in the same month.
thats when my father got even worse but we stuck it out.
until some time in july 2008 when my dad tired killing my mum not once but twice
and the police arrested him but let him off
they said they cont do anything about it
so im now living in fear of what will happen nexted.
also when i was nearli 13 i was with a family friend well i thought he was.
i was in his flat and he was getting closer to me and i asked why he was doing this but he didnt say anything... thats when he raped me.
i felt ashamed and dirty that everything was happening for a reason.
but that wasnt the only time it happened last time it happened was on 10th july 2008 when my nan came back.
you may be thinking way did i see him again if he did this.
well i didnt say anything to any one about it, he said that he couldnt get introuble, so i thought there was no point.
but i was so emotional i didnt know what to do , a friend asked me why i was like this and it was so hard for me to say anything but i finaly told him but e was only 17 and he said he couldnt do much about it, he said i must tell some one older, someone that could help cause all he could do was be there for me.
i told him that it was so hard tell him this y did i want to tell anyone else but in summer 2008 i was at a ice hockey school and one of my coaches i become close to like a father figer in my life and thats when everything come out.
he said that he wasnt the kind of person i should be telling and that he needed someone with him when i told him more so he got a teacher i came with on the mini bus and they sat and spoke to me but before they spoke to me they said that it had to go to the social workers and th epolice cause i was under 16 they would have to tell my mum also.
i was thinking twice of telling her, but i didnt want this playing on my mind anymore, i wanted my life back.
when my mum heard about it she said it was my fault that i may learn from this
i felt the one to blame tht no one cared.
the man was let off with what he did with me
i now realize that things happen but that doesnt stop u from living your life
i have people that care for me
and i need to think of my school work im in the last year and i have my GCSEs to think about i want to get the grades i need for the job i wannt to do.
not everything u want will happen but if u try then it can happen
may people come and go in this world but ur not the only one with problems and u will never be
so jut keep ur chin up and u will be fine
even if things still happen people r here too help :)
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