I do NOT feel good lately, I'm having more regular panic attacks, my moods are erratic and unpredictable. I randomly have the urge to burst into tears for no apparent reason and then start thinking about things that I know will make me worse and fight the strong urge to just hide somewhere and cry for a few mins, I feel sudden bursts of anger and want to punch things or become very impatient, I've even started arguing with my co-workers over things that I normally wouldn't.
I fucking hate my job more than usual and have came close to telling my boss to shove his job up his ass and I can't do that as he's my brother in law and I need this job.
I feel reclusive, not talking to anyone, lying to people and the one thing I loved to do I now despise more than anything in the world.
I'm severely drained all day to the point were I'm virtually asleep on my feet and I hurt all over as if I'd been run over by something despite the large amount of rest I've had I have no energy at all.
I feel as if I'm on the verge of a complete breakdown, it feels like 2 million things are going through my head at the one point and I just wish it would stop and my only way of controlling it has been via small amounts of alcohol to perk my mood up before I fall asleep of exhaustion.
So to quote KoRn lyrics as I feel I can relate to this song a lot right now...
"I'm trying to hold it together
Head is lighter than a feather
Looks like I'm not getting better"
I need help, what kind of help I don't know but I need something. I can't stand feeling like I'm on the verge of loosing my mind.
Sorry about the long topic...
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Bow before the forces of Chaos.
Let the Galaxy burn and the heavens bleed!