I think my depression started at the end of last year, after I "got over" (or, as much as you can get over) my personality disorder.

I thought after that, my life would be great. I'd be able to experience, fully, my teenager years. A bunch of friends, dating, etc.

I saw a little bit of that, I made a lot of new friends. But I didn't see a boyfriend, while everyone around me was getting one. I know that sounds shallow, but the thing is, I wanted someone to love me, and not just say "Oh yeah I love you....because we're family".  

My personality disorder, which was my fault, pretty much alienated me from everyone, family included.  
I just wanted to know that I had succeeded, that SOMEONE noticed I'd changed. If that makes any sense. Still hasn't happened.

Now, this year, things have taken a turn for the worse. I basically have straight C's and F's. Every year before this, I've been an A and B student in advanced/ap classes without much effort.

This year, I actually started paying attention in class and this is what happens. I have no idea what is happening to me. Suddenly, I'm just forgetting everything when I get to a test. My dreams for a decent college are probably gone.

For some reason this year, I have no classes, or even see people I am friends with/used to be friends with.  
It is very depressing to be failing, and also have no one to talk to.

My family is really to complicated to talk about, but basically, they dislike me because of my former personality disorder. I don't know. We don't have the best relationship.

So, there it is. There is absolutely no joy in my life. No feeling of success, no warm fuzzy feeling about family, no warm fuzzy feeling about friends, and definitely no love.

This may sound like no big deal to you, but it is very depressing to me. I am wishing for something good to happen to me. And don't say "you have to make it". I'm not sitting here like a lump, I am trying. And it's not working.

Post edited at 1:08 pm on Nov. 15, 2008 by Anonymous

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Print this out and take it to your therapist or doctor.

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I don't have a therapist, and don't plan on getting one.

I got over my personality disorder by myself, and I hope I can get over this by myself too.

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Quote: from YellowDuckie at 1:09 pm on Nov. 15, 2008

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Print this out and take it to your therapist or doctor.

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I don't have a therapist, and don't plan on getting one.

I got over my personality disorder by myself, and I hope I can get over this by myself too.

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Well, that's your own choice but they're there to help and make it easier.

I'm interested to know what personality disorder had, how you know you had it and how you got over it.

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Like a runaway

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Quote: from Anonymous at 1:10 pm on Nov. 15, 2008

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Quote: from YellowDuckie at 1:09 pm on Nov. 15, 2008

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Print this out and take it to your therapist or doctor.

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 I don't have a therapist, and don't plan on getting one.  

 I got over my personality disorder by myself, and I hope I can get over this by myself too.

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Well, that's your own choice but they're there to help and make it easier.  

I'm interested to know what personality disorder had, how you know you had it and how you got over it.

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Well, I had Histrionic personality disorder. It runs in my family.

I don't know how to explain how I got over it. I just focused a lot on it. I learned proper social protocol, and focused all my energy on applying it and becoming a better person.

I still sort of have it, but it is mostly contained. My concern is, now that I am depressed, it will show itself again.