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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Friends & Family / Viewing Topic

i'm stuck- growing up in abuse
Replies: 10Last Post Nov. 11, 2008 8:22pm by tell me again
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Web Resources: Rape Myths Dispelled, Help & Information about Rape
USA Rape, Abuse and Incest Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (1-800-656-4673)
( Anonymous )

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I'm so stuck! I literally cannot talk in therapy. My dad abused and raped me from age 3 till i moved out at 18. I had issues with my mom too. i don't know how i'm going to get better if i can't talk about it. I can talk to people i don't know, and i think i need to start with that but i've never talked to anyone about it. does anyone have an advice?

8:05 pm on Nov. 11, 2008
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zombie4life


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why cant u talk in therapy?



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"Ever tried? Ever failed? No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better."
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8:06 pm on Nov. 11, 2008 | Joined: June 2007 | Days Active: 548
Join to learn more about zombie4life North Carolina, United States | Straight Male | Posts: 9,476 | Points: 14,921
spartan09


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Call Loveline and talk to Dr. Drew. Every weekday night (11-1 EST) he answers questions: 1-800-LOVE191. He's really awesome- try it

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Everybody look at you 'cause you're sailing on a  FAILBOAT.

8:07 pm on Nov. 11, 2008 | Joined: Oct. 2008 | Days Active: 61
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katjassidekick


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Do you want to talk about it? Need some advice? I prefer you PM me.

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Must be a devil between us,
  or whores in my head

8:07 pm on Nov. 11, 2008 | Joined: Nov. 2007 | Days Active: 321
Join to learn more about katjassidekick Pennsylvania, United States | Female | Posts: 7,974 | Points: 11,396
callmeprincess


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talk. like, to friends, family, etc. maybe confront ur dad?

8:07 pm on Nov. 11, 2008 | Joined: Sep. 2008 | Days Active: 81
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bratalvarado


Quality Control Engineer
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if i was u i wuold tell yo friend about it and c if he has any advice

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im the vampire not u others, ill bite u

8:07 pm on Nov. 11, 2008 | Joined: Nov. 2008 | Days Active: 27
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Everlongx


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Part of me thinks this is bullshit. But the other part says it's not.
For me, its always been easiest to talk to strangers.

8:07 pm on Nov. 11, 2008 | Joined: Oct. 2007 | Days Active: 243
Join to learn more about Everlongx Indiana, United States | Straight Male | Posts: 5,778 | Points: 8,636
Yahtzee


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tell your friend about it or other family.

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Need relationship advice? Message me :D
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8:08 pm on Nov. 11, 2008 | Joined: Sep. 2008 | Days Active: 300
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ss454


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Quote: from spartan09 at 11:07 pm on Nov. 11, 2008

Call Loveline and talk to Dr. Drew. Every weekday night (11-1 EST) he answers questions: 1-800-LOVE191. He's really awesome- try it


Holy shit I've never seen anybody who has heard Loveline


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8:11 pm on Nov. 11, 2008 | Joined: Jan. 2008 | Days Active: 484
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AcidSilence


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Dr. Drew IS really really good. Try him.

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:D 3

8:11 pm on Nov. 11, 2008 | Joined: Nov. 2007 | Days Active: 273
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tell me again


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I'm so sorry to hear that. I know how you feel. I was the same, and I couldn't talk about anything serious to anyone. I literally couldn't speak. I'll tell you what it's been like for me, and hopefully it can work for you too.

I told things online first, posting on anonymous forums. It sounded so weird to say things in words, even in my head. Soon these narratives of my life turned into scripts that I could almost recite without feeling the emotional impact of. That made it easier to say.

I didn't really get counselling for everything that's happened to me. But it was the online wording, and the talking in my mind that gave me practice for saying anything out aloud, vocally. When you put things into words, it becomes easier to re-say, than to construct the sentences on the spot, in an intimidating situation.

I had a few people that I felt somewhat closer to in real life. I didn't tell them things, but I would pretend to tell them. I'd say it in my head. Visualise the feeling of saying it. Again, this is like practice, and it gets you used to saying it to someone.

Another thing is that I find really painful memories are hard to say because even if you've already worded it, it doesn't buffer you from the emotional effects so you feel like you're gonna fall apart. I begun by saying things indirectly, hinting at things. I didn't do this deliberately, but I found that talking about things indirectly was just easier and I tended to do that. I minimised problems when I talked about them, and I talked around things. Therapists are (hopefully) sensitive to picking that up, and slowly you can work towards being direct about your issues.


I hope that helps. Feel free to PM me and let me know how it goes, or if it doesn't help we can work something else out. Good luck.


8:22 pm on Nov. 11, 2008 | Joined: June 2006 | Days Active: 784
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