You can only trust him I suppose. Keep talking to him about it, make sure that he knows that you don't want him to act.
I can only imagine it is overwhelming information for him, and you should give him time to calm down. This would be a very hard thing for anyone to deal with, and I am sure he just needs a little bit of space to sort out his feelings and be ok with not doing anything.
------- Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song.
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9:56 am on Nov. 12, 2008 | Joined: Nov. 2004 | Days Active: 1,234 Join to learn more about barnabasArkansas, United States | StraightFemale | Posts: 44,320 | Points: 63,607
Livewire doesn't let me say what I would do if someone did that to my little cousin...
If he said he wasn't going to do it, I guess you just have to trust his word. Though if an issue between the two of them arises later, I would be pretty sure that it would come up.
This. Or he won't wait.
------- I'm not wasted potential, you're just not worth my time. The impossibility of perfection will tear me apart. There's only so much you can do. The Broken.
2:16 pm on Nov. 12, 2008 | Joined: April 2008 | Days Active: 422 Join to learn more about The Last MagisterIllinois, United States | StraightMale | Posts: 18,883 | Points: 21,890
MixedDelight
Guru Patron
There's a chance that he'll do something. He might have promised you he wouldn't, but you can imagine how pissed he would be feeling knowing one of his friends raped his cousin. I know I'd be livid.
If anything, he might just beat the crap out of the assailant. Which is really something he deserves, and if that guy goes to court to complain, your cousin can just bring up the fact that this guy raped you.
Why didn't you get a rape kit done at the time? :s If you don't mind my asking.
------- Shhh, don't tell.
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hithere
Novice Patron Support Leader
He might break his promise, but if he was able to promise that to you in that moment of (likely) anger, then I think you don't have to worry. But you never know. The main thing is, you already told him and you can't change that. You'll have to trust him. But if you really think he might tell somebody, remind him how important it is that he keeps it to himself. I hope it turns out okay for you, you were brave to tell him about it. Stay strong.
5:37 pm on Nov. 12, 2008 | Joined: Dec. 2005 | Days Active: 983 Join to learn more about hithereLouisiana, United States | Posts: 23,691 | Points: 45,830
tell me again
it's a face Patron
I agree with hithere. Remind him that it's a really important thing for you that he keeps it to himself. It might also help to explain to him why it wouldn't be a good idea to tell anyone.
I'm just taking your word that you've thought about this and that you think keeping this secret is worthwhile. I know that some things are better kept quiet, but I hope you do have a way to deal with it (if you aren't going to seek other support).
8:35 pm on Nov. 12, 2008 | Joined: June 2006 | Days Active: 783 Join to learn more about tell me againAustralia | Label FreeFemale | Posts: 17,695 | Points: 34,111
Then why bring it up? If you have a problem you should report it to the authorities.
------- "Save the cheerleader, save the world."
8:44 pm on Nov. 12, 2008 | Joined: July 2008 | Days Active: 187 Join to learn more about I heart nubsMichigan, United States | Posts: 1,377 | Points: 3,268
tell me again
it's a face Patron
Quote: from I heart nubs at 8:44 pm on Nov. 12, 2008
Then why bring it up? If you have a problem you should report it to the authorities.
Yeah? Because authority action will fix her problems?
It's a good thing that she has enough trust to tell her cousin and hopefully it was of some help to say so.
If she doesn't want extra stress, punishing the rapist will do fuck all for her.
8:53 pm on Nov. 12, 2008 | Joined: June 2006 | Days Active: 783 Join to learn more about tell me againAustralia | Label FreeFemale | Posts: 17,695 | Points: 34,111
I heart nubs
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Quote: from tell me again at 8:53 pm on Nov. 12, 2008
Quote: from I heart nubs at 8:44 pm on Nov. 12, 2008
Then why bring it up? If you have a problem you should report it to the authorities.
Yeah? Because authority action will fix her problems?
It's a good thing that she has enough trust to tell her cousin and hopefully it was of some help to say so.
If she doesn't want extra stress, punishing the rapist will do fuck all for her.
The authorites can do more than anyone else...
------- "Save the cheerleader, save the world."
8:54 pm on Nov. 12, 2008 | Joined: July 2008 | Days Active: 187 Join to learn more about I heart nubsMichigan, United States | Posts: 1,377 | Points: 3,268
tell me again
it's a face Patron
Easy for you to say. Can they undo the past? They can provide a peace of mind if she decides that this is important to her, but she's already decided against that. (Not to rule out this option, OP)
Anyway I won't divert the thread further.
9:04 pm on Nov. 12, 2008 | Joined: June 2006 | Days Active: 783 Join to learn more about tell me againAustralia | Label FreeFemale | Posts: 17,695 | Points: 34,111
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Livewire doesn't let me say what I would do if someone did that to my little cousin... 
