i do not have dreams in my life, i do not believe in love any way, i do not love myself, i have know idea on how someone can love them selves, i do not if any loves me how can you tell if someone loves you? I tried to have dreams like i would like to hang out with a friend this month or have a friend call me but it does not happen.I am not good at anything i fail at every thing i try, I try-ed to get help but i can never get it. I pray every night for help but no help comes.I have hurt-ed my self and sometimes still do.I hate myself for being gay. I hate being called a "fag". I get so embarrassed about my feeling for guys. Why do i have to be gay, why can i not be straight. Life is full of disappointments, I hate being nice to everyone and not have them be nice back to me.I wish i could change who i am. it is plain and simple life sucks.