I'm sick of it all.
I feel like there's no point in living.  If it hadn't been for my family, I'd probably be gone by now.
Often times I just wish I could getaway from the pressures of life and all and go live in the mountainside somewhere.  I don't care for a job.  I have no motivation.  I don't know WHAT I'm good at.  No one likes me and people always call me stupid.  I have no real friends.  I just want to run away where I could find peace!  Although I know I do need a job to survive.

The whole ugly thing... that I don't really understand. I feel there is a chance you are mistaken. When enough people tell you mean things, you are bound to believe them regardless of if they are true or not. It sounds like this is the case.

If you do want to pursue this further, feel free to either reply here, or contact me personally.

-------
My good people of LiveWire:
Dig For Fire (ClAcc) | littlenicky40 (DenServ) | Pan
galeharoldishot | CeramicFrog | iloveto | Girl19
HazelEyes (Mod) | Spasty

---

The job of a counsellor is not to judge you. Their job is to help you with the problems you are having with life, even with school. If people are hassling you, and it is effecting your happiness, then you have to talk to someone about it. Keep finding trusted people to talk to, until you can find someone who understands the issues you are going through, and is prepared to do what it takes to really help you out. You don't deserve to be treated badly. Once people realise you aren't such an easy target to make fun of, they are much less likely to do so. Right now they just know that they can get away with it, and they might even feel it is the right thing to do.  

The whole ugly thing... that I don't really understand. I feel there is a chance you are mistaken. When enough people tell you mean things, you are bound to believe them regardless of if they are true or not. It sounds like this is the case.  

If you do want to pursue this further, feel free to either reply here, or contact me personally.

---

Well I used to to be treated real well just b/c I looked good, and I wasn't so self conscious back then (in middle school to freshman year in high school.  But somehow, I guess I just got uglier (maybe physical changes from growing up) and I started to get all these negative criticisms.  No one liked me anymore.

As a result of being bullied, I worry so much about my appearance now that I have trouble paying attention in class.  I am so self conscious now and I hate it.  Sometimes I shake or twitch in class.  I wish I could just NOT care about what people think.  I think I am also very sensitive.  I get caught up in events that happened in school and I just can't study as well.  Even now in college, some people in my Sociology class would laugh at me or make rude comments, like they call me stupid, weird, retarded or ugly.  Sometimes they do it near me as if I wasn't even there..  I don't know why people don't like me.  Especially when guys decide to hit on me but then decides to be mean and call me butt ugly when they see how bad the side of my face looks (cause my mouth looks big there), and it really hurts.  I guess that's the biggest physical that I hate about myself b/c ppl always have a problem with it.  I always get the "repulsive stare".  Or other times I just have "bad hair days".  I can't even get plastic surgery.  

Post edited at 5:00 am on Nov. 14, 2008 by madoka

---

You make it sound like you have a physical deformaty. What sort of one would that be?

---

What's physical deformaty?  I don't think I have that kind of problem but rather its a physical trait.

Post edited at 9:48 am on Nov. 15, 2008 by madoka

could it be something such as this? Maybe you should speak to someone. It is affecting your life drastically....
And I highly doubt you are that unattractive.

Post edited at 8:48 pm on Dec. 1, 2008 by PromiseMe

As for now, there's not much you can do. People will be harsh, that's life. You have to rise above them, though. Show them that you are who you are, and damnit, it's perfectly fine. Show them the true beauty that lies further than skin deep, because, honey, I can tell that it's there. You're nearly glowing. You're a beautiful girl.

-------
There is beauty inside a woman who believes in herself;
who knows she is capable of anything that she puts her mind to.
who knows she can fall, pick herself up, and move on.