Alright, look, I have a really bad temper. I get angry and I get out control. I yell at my mom, snap at my boyfriend, all the things I don't want to do. I think about it and I regret it.  

But I can't control any of what I do once I get angry. I can break off a year and a half relationship just like that, break my cell phone knowing I won't have one for a while, chuck my keys in the middle of the night and then spend hours looking for them, to name the most recent events. All for no logical reasons. I just turn into this crazy psycho girl I hate so much.

I can get this way out of nowhere. I don't know what to do. I've caused so much pain to people closest to me, and I have tried so hard to stop myself, to lower my voice, to not throw a fit. This is my biggest problem.  

I can spend hours balling my eyes out and have "moments of realization" and I can swear I will change, but once my mood changes to this again, everything is forgotten and lost. I'm not me.  

My question is, does anybody know what the best way I can control this is? Can therapists perhaps provide me with better advice? Or is there medication I can take? I would do anything. Thank you.

EDIT: I live in a small town, so my resources are limited =\ I fucked up big time with my boyfriend the other night, and I would do anything to fix it..

Post edited at 2:08 pm on Nov. 9, 2008 by Anonymous

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Anger managment is hte best movie ever :D in all seriousness tho perhaps you should look into some sort of counsiling.

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haha

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leanneS is a 10
Ziggy Sobotka from The Wire is my hero!!!!
You're just picking the knickers from your arse
like you're playing a one-stringed harp!

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Try finding more effective ways to relieve your anger and calm you. If you need to try to find a counselor and talk about your problems.

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Quote: from Doubleshift at 3:10 pm on Nov. 9, 2008

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Try finding more effective ways to relieve your anger and calm you. If you need to try to find a counselor and talk about your problems.

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Look, when I get angry, I don't care about anything or anybody. When I get that way, I don't care about hurting people or myself, or finding better ways to calm myself. I just don't give a shit, I don't even think about anything period. Thats why I can't control myself, thats why I know I have a problem and thats why I know I need some kind of help.

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Then find a counselor? Maybe he/she can recommend a psychiatrist if you think you really need one. Also, I believe there is a way to change how you react, by changing your subconscious(I'm not really sure of how else I could describe it) Of course, my closest experience to your deals more with anxiety and not anger. I wish I could help. Honest. :(

Post edited at 2:21 pm on Nov. 9, 2008 by Doubleshift

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THIS IS THE SKIN OF A KILLER.

I'm afraid to go to the councelor, but I don't even know if I should set up an appointment with a regular therapist or a psychiatrist who can prescribe me something if I need it.

There are medicines out there to "numb" your outbursts. You'll most probably need to talk to a psychiatrist to obtain these meds, though.

You say that you get this way "out of nowhere"? Do these outbursts happen more often when you're stressed in general? Or are they completely random?

If they happen during times of stress, then you could work on reducing the stress of everyday life in general. (You can do this on your own, with someone you trust, or with professional help)

I get the feeling that you mean the latter though. If your anger comes randomly, then it is most likely a chemical or hormonal thing, and you could really benefit from meds. It's worth scheduling an appointment.

But keep in mind that hormonal changes are normal during adolescence, and maybe yours is more extreme compared to others. So be patient and it might become more manageable on its own. Depending on how severe these outbursts are, you can also benefit from meds anyway.