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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Short Stories & Poetry / Viewing Topic

Tell me what you think so far.
Replies: 6Last Post Oct. 14, 2008 6:04am by EliEe
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( Poeticpunker )


Wealthy Hobo
Reply
It is not done but I'd like to know what you all think of it so far...

Biting his lips, he combats himself
"Should I or shouldn't I?" runs again and again
His hand hovers, his eyes stare
Still, he can't bring himself to words, to action
Her attention would be his bliss or his hell
Plagued with every "what if" he can dream of

She keeps turning to see no one
She keeps feeling nothing
But she knows there is someone there
Anxiety is her constant companion
Anticipation is her constant muse
She can feel him there but still nothing

Wars are in both of them
Stirring emotions, turbulent thoughts
Both of their stomachs turn
Damned desire, innocent stalking
Him, what will happen?
Her, when will it happen?



-------
Who are you?! How did you get in here?!
Well, I'm a locksmith and...I'm a locksmith.


7:39 am on Oct. 13, 2008 | Joined: Nov. 2005 | Days Active: 314
Join to learn more about Poeticpunker Pennsylvania, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 1,871 | Points: 5,404
dont notice me


Enlightened One

Patron
Reply
yeeeeaaaaaa i'm biased because i hate poetry so it's lame.

-------
Go on to the moon with your...sharp ass

7:40 am on Oct. 13, 2008 | Joined: June 2006 | Days Active: 355
Join to learn more about dont notice me Texas, United States | Posts: 14,391 | Points: 16,260
( Poeticpunker )


Wealthy Hobo
Reply
Quote: from dont notice me at 10:40 am on Oct. 13, 2008

yeeeeaaaaaa i'm biased because i hate poetry so it's lame.
Then why would you bother with this topic?

-------
Who are you?! How did you get in here?!
Well, I'm a locksmith and...I'm a locksmith.

7:41 am on Oct. 13, 2008 | Joined: Nov. 2005 | Days Active: 314
Join to learn more about Poeticpunker Pennsylvania, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 1,871 | Points: 5,404
BleedingSteelWings


Soothsayer
Reply
very good.

-------
I know this chick
She's pretty damned amazing

7:41 am on Oct. 13, 2008 | Joined: Sep. 2008 | Days Active: 183
Join to learn more about BleedingSteelWings Newfoundland and Labrador, Canada | Straight Male | Posts: 8,293 | Points: 10,255
dont notice me


Enlightened One

Patron
Reply
Quote: from Poeticpunker at 9:41 am on Oct. 13, 2008

Quote: from dont notice me at 10:40 am on Oct. 13, 2008

yeeeeaaaaaa i'm biased because i hate poetry so it's lame.
Then why would you bother with this topic?

poooinnntttssssssssss

-------
Go on to the moon with your...sharp ass


7:41 am on Oct. 13, 2008 | Joined: June 2006 | Days Active: 355
Join to learn more about dont notice me Texas, United States | Posts: 14,391 | Points: 16,260
Jaems


Executive
Reply
I'm liking it so far.

-------
I'll chain you to the truth..
For the truth shall set you free.

8:04 am on Oct. 13, 2008 | Joined: June 2008 | Days Active: 101
Join to learn more about Jaems Australia | Straight Male | Posts: 1,795 | Points: 3,292
EliEe


Dairy Product Addict
Reply
Keep it going!

6:04 am on Oct. 14, 2008 | Joined: June 2008 | Days Active: 76
Join to learn more about EliEe Pennsylvania, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 367 | Points: 1,136
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