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Erebus Pursue the Darkness Ș » Ğ
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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Short Stories & Poetry / Viewing Topic

Tell me what you think so far.
Replies: 6Last Post Oct. 14, 2008 6:04am by EliEe
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( Poeticpunker )


Wealthy Hobo
Reply
It is not done but I'd like to know what you all think of it so far...

Biting his lips, he combats himself
"Should I or shouldn't I?" runs again and again
His hand hovers, his eyes stare
Still, he can't bring himself to words, to action
Her attention would be his bliss or his hell
Plagued with every "what if" he can dream of

She keeps turning to see no one
She keeps feeling nothing
But she knows there is someone there
Anxiety is her constant companion
Anticipation is her constant muse
She can feel him there but still nothing

Wars are in both of them
Stirring emotions, turbulent thoughts
Both of their stomachs turn
Damned desire, innocent stalking
Him, what will happen?
Her, when will it happen?



-------
Who are you?! How did you get in here?!
Well, I'm a locksmith and...I'm a locksmith.


7:39 am on Oct. 13, 2008 | Joined: Nov. 2005 | Days Active: 361
Join to learn more about Poeticpunker Pennsylvania, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 1,972 | Points: 5,986
LiveWire Humor
Dont Notice Me

Guru

Patron
Reply
yeeeeaaaaaa i'm biased because i hate poetry so it's lame.

-------
i get amnesia when i'm standing next to yo-oo-ou

7:40 am on Oct. 13, 2008 | Joined: June 2006 | Days Active: 424
Join to learn more about Dont Notice Me Texas, United States | Gay Male | Posts: 19,028 | Points: 21,377
( Poeticpunker )


Wealthy Hobo
Reply
Quote: from dont notice me at 10:40 am on Oct. 13, 2008

yeeeeaaaaaa i'm biased because i hate poetry so it's lame.
Then why would you bother with this topic?

-------
Who are you?! How did you get in here?!
Well, I'm a locksmith and...I'm a locksmith.

7:41 am on Oct. 13, 2008 | Joined: Nov. 2005 | Days Active: 361
Join to learn more about Poeticpunker Pennsylvania, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 1,972 | Points: 5,986
BleedingSteelWings


Enlightened One
Reply
very good.

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You see my pain is real, watch my world dissolve
and pretend that none of us feel the fall

7:41 am on Oct. 13, 2008 | Joined: Sep. 2008 | Days Active: 279
Join to learn more about BleedingSteelWings Newfoundland and Labrador, Canada | Straight Male | Posts: 11,558 | Points: 14,490
Dont Notice Me

Guru

Patron
Reply
Quote: from Poeticpunker at 9:41 am on Oct. 13, 2008

Quote: from dont notice me at 10:40 am on Oct. 13, 2008

yeeeeaaaaaa i'm biased because i hate poetry so it's lame.
Then why would you bother with this topic?

poooinnntttssssssssss

-------
i get amnesia when i'm standing next to yo-oo-ou


7:41 am on Oct. 13, 2008 | Joined: June 2006 | Days Active: 424
Join to learn more about Dont Notice Me Texas, United States | Gay Male | Posts: 19,028 | Points: 21,377
Jaems


Executive
Reply
I'm liking it so far.

-------
I'll chain you to the truth..
For the truth shall set you free.

8:04 am on Oct. 13, 2008 | Joined: June 2008 | Days Active: 122
Join to learn more about Jaems Australia | Straight Male | Posts: 1,917 | Points: 3,626
EliEe


Dairy Product Addict
Reply
Keep it going!

-------
scream thy name into the darkness as i take you to long awaited bliss...

6:04 am on Oct. 14, 2008 | Joined: June 2008 | Days Active: 114
Join to learn more about EliEe Pennsylvania, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 843 | Points: 2,008
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