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( Anonymous )
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Okay, my boyfriend of two and a half years parents both died about 2 years ago. He has a 4 year old brother (he just turned 18, I just turned 17), and they live with his uncle who is only like...25. It's only his uncle left (family wise) because his dad was an only child, and his mom only had a brother, all four grandparents have died over the years. While his uncle takes care of pat (the 4 year old), he is always at work, but it's my boyfriend who pretty much raises him when he's not at school. I know this sounds like a movie lol but it sounds a lot worse than it really is, they're well off(aside from not having parents) and have lots of support from family friends and everything, but yeah. Anyways, I was babysitting him while my boyfriend went somewhere, and he said "you're pretty mommy, will i look like you"...and I didn't know what to do. I was kind of like "mommy?! what are you talking about patty" and he just started giggling. My mom was kind of in shock like 'oh shit' and it really scared me. I mean obviously I'm not going to be a bitch about it, but what do I say to that? He called me "mama" the rest of the day and every time he saw the "womanizer" music video on mtv he would be like "there you are" ( apparently I look like britney spears, whether that's a good or bad thing is besides the point), I told my boyfriend and he laughed, he doesn't call my boyfriend daddy or anything (why would he? he's his brother, but why call me mom). I asked my mom and she was all preachy about "acting like a mother figure when you're too young"...but I don't act like one, I take care of him like a little brother but hardly like a mom...He's also really smart for a four year old, so why does he think I'm his mom at four? Wouldn't he know that I'm not at that age? I don't have any idea what to do lol...
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Ndskewll
Enlightened One
 Patron
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He sees you as the only female figure in his life and that's why he's calling you that.
He really just doesn't know the difference - he's hardly out of his toddler years.
Don't let it freak you out.
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Make this last, take it slow
We've got it all figured out for now
So let us live our lives without a doubt.
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NikkiMikki
Wealthy Hobo
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Quote: from Ndskewll at 8:20 pm on Oct. 11, 2008
 He sees you as the only female figure in his life and that's why he's calling you that.
He really just doesn't know the difference - he's hardly out of his toddler years.
Don't let it freak you out. 
I was going to say pretty much the same thing.
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If everyone goes away, I will stay.
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callmeprincess
Dairy Product Addict
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my bf's sister said that to me once too, the only difference its that it was in front of her real mom. its really embarrassing but apparently its pretty normal for young kids to do that
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pujolsfan
Soothsayer
Patron
Support Leader
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A kid at that age, or any age really, needs a mother figure in his life, and you are all he has right now. Four year olds don't really understand what the title of "mom" and "dad" means. They have just heard those names before and you are the closest thing that fits the title therefor he assumes you must be his mother. Does he call his uncle, "dad". I assume he would because he probably doesn't at all remember his parents and his uncle has been the only one there for him as a father figure. I wouldn't worry too much about him calling you mom. He should grow out of it soon or forget what he called you in the first place. I think that its important not to tell him not to call you mom because that could really upset him and make him realize that he has no parents and no kid needs to go through the feelings that go along with that. It is a good idea for him to hear his brother and uncle call you by your name so he will pick up on that and naturally start referring to you as your first name. I can almost guarantee that if he hears others call you your name than he eventually will too. I think its important not to let the situation get to you. Its important for you to still have an active role in the kid's life, but try not to be to motherly. Just think of yourself as a babysitter. You said that you and your boyfriend had been together for two and a half years. Thats a pretty long time, but you are still young. If you are at all considering marriage you would be a great addition to the family for the kid's sake. I'm not sure though that his brother is going to want to move out and leave his brother alone with only his uncle. He is probably going to be really close to his brother considering he has so few family. Don't think about the situation too much. All you need to think about is being a positive role model in the kid's life. He needs a female figure and his life, and you are it. You are only 17 and don't need to feel any pressure. Just try to be a positive role model. Good luck! I hope everything goes well with the family and your boyfriend.
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A billion Chinese can't be wrong: eat rice.
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