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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Teen Depression & Emotional Imbalance / Viewing Topic

I'm a pathetic mess
Replies: 6 — Last Post Oct. 11 8:00pm by belizabeth
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( belizabeth )


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Right now I feel And know I am a huge mess. I'm such a poseur I even don't know who or what I am. I pretend so much, my life is one huge fantasy. It's not funny right now, all this is too real and it scares me. I can't believe I let myself be so many different things and still one thing. To me it seems like everything is crashing and burning but really all is fine but me. I'm the one who is crashing and burning inside. I feel so confused and screwed up beyond repair. I know I lie so much it's not funny and most of my lies are told to my parents. They have no clue how wild and crazy of a girl I truly am. Just thinking about all of this sickens myself. I'm kinda sickened at the thought how much my parents have no clue how I am and still they trust me. Like what do I have to do spell it out for them! uggh! I thought my actions would speak for me but they obviously don't pay attention at all. I've tried telling them these things but they don't listen. Right now as it stands my parents don't know I'm daiting my current bf Tony. They don't know I snuck out all of the summer of 07. They don't know I dated my ex's Micah, John, or Timmy. They don't know I'm not a virgin. They don't know I've had sex with John and Timmy. They don't know John was my first. They don't know me and Amathee are still friends. The list goes on and on and for crying out loud they shoud know these things because I'm homeschooled. What more do I have to do?

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belizabeth is me.
7:27 pm on Oct. 11, 2008 | Joined July 2007 | 257 Days Active
Join to learn more about belizabeth Tennessee, United States | Straight Female | 5552 Posts | 8761 Points
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Why the fuck do you want your parents to know all that stuff?

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Give a man a fire, and he is warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he is warm for the rest of his life.
7:31 pm on Oct. 11, 2008 | Joined Dec. 2006 | 431 Days Active
Join to learn more about Violently Happy Bosnia And Herzegovina | Female | 5036 Posts | 9718 Points
( belizabeth )


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Well typically we have an open relashioship but uggh I just want them to know.

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belizabeth is me.
7:32 pm on Oct. 11, 2008 | Joined July 2007 | 257 Days Active
Join to learn more about belizabeth Tennessee, United States | Straight Female | 5552 Posts | 8761 Points
Violently Happy


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Quote: from belizabeth at 10:32 pm on Oct. 11, 2008
Well typically we have an open relashioship but uggh I just want them to know.
Why? What do you want to happen?

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Give a man a fire, and he is warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he is warm for the rest of his life.
7:35 pm on Oct. 11, 2008 | Joined Dec. 2006 | 431 Days Active
Join to learn more about Violently Happy Bosnia And Herzegovina | Female | 5036 Posts | 9718 Points
( belizabeth )


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I want to be punished for all my wrong doings.

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belizabeth is me.
7:36 pm on Oct. 11, 2008 | Joined July 2007 | 257 Days Active
Join to learn more about belizabeth Tennessee, United States | Straight Female | 5552 Posts | 8761 Points
Violently Happy


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Quote: from belizabeth at 10:36 pm on Oct. 11, 2008
I want to be punished for all my wrong doings.
Masochistic huh?

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Give a man a fire, and he is warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he is warm for the rest of his life.
7:59 pm on Oct. 11, 2008 | Joined Dec. 2006 | 431 Days Active
Join to learn more about Violently Happy Bosnia And Herzegovina | Female | 5036 Posts | 9718 Points
( belizabeth )


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I guess.

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belizabeth is me.
8:00 pm on Oct. 11, 2008 | Joined July 2007 | 257 Days Active
Join to learn more about belizabeth Tennessee, United States | Straight Female | 5552 Posts | 8761 Points
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