Firstly - you started off by saying you need to relax. Good. It sounds like you desperately need to. It looks like there's so much going on in your head right now, and the very fact that you're still getting by day-to-day is really amazing. Give yourself credit for that. You're doing your best and that's all anyone could ask of you, ok? 7 months without self harming really is such a long time. Instead of focusing on the fact that you've self harmed recently, why not give yourself credit for the amount of time you went without it? I mean, I understand how huge that struggle is. Going 7 months just shows you that, yeah, you slipped uo, but you can do it again. And again and again and again, if necessary. These past 7 months have shown you that there are other ways of coping. It's ok that you slipped up and self harmed, because we both know that you can accept it as something like just happened - something you didn't want to happen, but something you can learn from. And you can start again, right? Right!
Thing is, in order to really stop with the self harming, it's important to work on the reasons behind it. Figure out why you self harm and work on those problems. You listed a few here, which is great because now you can start doing something about them. You mentioned your relationship firstly. Even though this is such a sad situation and things are very difficult, you've actually made the hardest step already. You've recognised and accepted that the relationship isn't healthy. Do you know how long it takes some people to realise that? And it's fantastic that you have, because you can now begin to work through it and move on with your life. Breaking up with someone is never easy - it's never going to be easy, but maybe it's best to get it done without prolonging the whole thing, making both you and your boyfriend unhappy, you know? I understand you don't want to hurt him, but you have to do what's right for you and, in a way, what's right for him too. It's not fair to be with him if you don't want to be. You know that. And hey, if you do break up with him and want to break up with him, it's probably going to take some of that stress away from you, which can only be a positive thing, right?
As for your family wanting you back on medication. To be honest, it's entirely your decision. Do you want to go back on any medication? And is there an option of maybe seeing a counselor or someone, just to help you sort through your feelings? Medication isn't always the answer and if you don't fancy it then it's ok. It's your decision, and remember that there are so many other ways to get help (going to your doctor, seeing a counselor, just leaning on your friends and family for support!). You have so many options, remember that!
Do you have a job and everything? I mention this because I think it's actually a not too bad idea. Working would get you away from everything for a bit, it would introduce you to new people and it would also mean you're earning money to pay off whatever debt your in. In addition, it'd be one step forward to having a permanent residence, yes? I understand completely why you're so stressed but, I promise you, there are so many steps you can take to get yourself less stressed! If you do have a job, well, that's fantastic! Stick at it, keep saving and paying what you can to the debts. As long as you're paying something toward these debts I assume that would be ok? I'm not entirely sure how it works where you are though.
I really am sorry. You have a huge amount on your plate right now, and it's no wonder you're finding it difficult to cope. Take it easy, yeah? Relax. Take some time out for yourself. Go eat something, even something little, ok? Try to get enough sleep each night and just take it easy. There's only so much you can do! And, as for the self harming, I do understand. But, as I said, the more you work on solving the issues that are upsetting and stressing you, the less you'll feel the urge to self harm (hopefully!).
Go slow. You can only do so much and if you want things to change then you can make changes.
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i think you're the same as me, we see things they'll never see