Now, it's as if I've stripped away the last year of horrors, and so I am now right back where I started. It wouldn't surprise me if cuts start to mysteriously appear on my shoulders and legs. I don't know anymore. Perhaps my life would be better if I just caved in on myself again. Getting comfort from seeing the inside of my body pour out.
Or, god, just a noose.

Is there even a such thing as "forward"? I doubt myself to be the stronger person to push through... how can I encourage myself? (I'd prefer not to have anyone involved this time around.)