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when he isnt sad all the time? when it "feels right" I am a girl..its all about feelings..and knowing..

I would say when you dont feel awkward about it? and he doesnt still act...broken up with? at least a monthish.

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He's not a person to show that kind of stuff though, making it difficult.

Quote: from audrey820 at 8:21 pm on Sep. 24, 2008

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How long was he with the guy? Was it serious and committed?

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A year. Which, in the gay community, is a lifetime. But it was really bad at the end, so I'm not sure how broken up he is.

FP

-------
Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand.

is saying "Im interested, but if your not, lets just stay friends" not appropriate?

-------
Everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and you who have no money
come, buy and eat. Come, buy wine and milk without money and
without cost.-Isaiah 55:1
www.wateringmalawi.com

---

..not being a gay guy, I am not really sure how this works.

is saying "Im interested, but if your not, lets just stay friends" not appropriate?

---

It runs the massive risk of making things awkward.

FP

-------
Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand.

Give him a couple weeks, I would say. Then turn on the charm and move in.

-------
kid, I wrote back,
all lovers betray.

---

Quote: from barnabas at 8:31 pm on Sep. 24, 2008

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..not being a gay guy, I am not really sure how this works.  

 is saying "Im interested, but if your not, lets just stay friends" not appropriate?

---

It runs the massive risk of making things awkward.

FP

---

check. lets avoid awkward. well..my advice is just to keep getting closer to him..in the friendly way..and try to see what happens?

there's not really a rule about stuff like this.

-------
Everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and you who have no money
come, buy and eat. Come, buy wine and milk without money and
without cost.-Isaiah 55:1
www.wateringmalawi.com

---

Ah, that's tough. Maybe wait and be his friend for a while, until he's out of the rebound stage, and then see where he's at and make a move?

---

I just don't know what to look for, or when the time comes, how to go about that. If I just wanted to sleep with him, that'd be easy. But I want to start something with meaning, and I don't know how.

FP

-------
Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand.

---

Quote: from Atti at 8:35 pm on Sep. 24, 2008

---

Ah, that's tough. Maybe wait and be his friend for a while, until he's out of the rebound stage, and then see where he's at and make a move?

---

I just don't know what to look for, or when the time comes, how to go about that. If I just wanted to sleep with him, that'd be easy. But I want to start something with meaning, and I don't know how.

FP

---

things with meaning usually have a foundation that is NOT built on sex. I am sure the sex would be great, but to build relationships you should focus on getting closer to him, getting to know him better, finding things you share in common, deepen your relationship before you try to add more elements to it.

-------
Everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and you who have no money
come, buy and eat. Come, buy wine and milk without money and
without cost.-Isaiah 55:1
www.wateringmalawi.com

---

check. lets avoid awkward. well..my advice is just to keep getting closer to him..in the friendly way..and try to see what happens?

there's not really a rule about stuff like this.

---

There needs to be. I hate when things aren't structured.

FP

-------
Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand.

---

things with meaning usually have a foundation that is NOT built on sex. I am sure the sex would be great, but to build relationships you should focus on getting closer to him, getting to know him better, finding things you share in common, deepen your relationship before you try to add more elements to it.

---

I know sex shouldn't be the defining factor, and surprisingly, I'm fine with that.

FP

-------
Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand.

---

Quote: from barnabas at 8:35 pm on Sep. 24, 2008

---

 check. lets avoid awkward. well..my advice is just to keep getting closer to him..in the friendly way..and try to see what happens?  

 there's not really a rule about stuff like this.

---

There needs to be. I hate when things aren't structured.

FP

---

the gay guy's rule book on how to build a meaningful relationship in 3 short easy lessons?

-------
Everyone who thirsts, come to the waters; and you who have no money
come, buy and eat. Come, buy wine and milk without money and
without cost.-Isaiah 55:1
www.wateringmalawi.com

---

the gay guy's rule book on how to build a meaningful relationship in 3 short easy lessons?

---

Exactly. Wishy washy shit is so frustrating.

FP

-------
Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand.

---

Quote: from FurryPanther at 9:36 pm on Sep. 24, 2008

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Quote: from Atti at 8:35 pm on Sep. 24, 2008

---

Ah, that's tough. Maybe wait and be his friend for a while, until he's out of the rebound stage, and then see where he's at and make a move?

---

 

 I just don't know what to look for, or when the time comes, how to go about that. If I just wanted to sleep with him, that'd be easy. But I want to start something with meaning, and I don't know how.  

 FP

---

things with meaning usually have a foundation that is NOT built on sex. I am sure the sex would be great, but to build relationships you should focus on getting closer to him, getting to know him better, finding things you share in common, deepen your relationship before you try to add more elements to it.

---

---

lol. Poor Jordan. you sound like you are on the right track.
keep persuing this one for a few weeks and see what develops.

---

You have no idea what this has done to me. I can't even have hook ups without feeling guilty. I need this to end in some way, to know if it'll go somewhere, and know it was all worth it, or that it won't, so I can settle back into what I'm used to. As it stands, things are a confusing pile of bollocks.

FP

-------
Come away, O human child!
To the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand.