Sorry to rant, but this is pretty much my last resort. Lately, I feel so disconnected from everyone and everything. It actually pretty weird too because I am involved in more things than I was last year. I ve pretty much drifted from everyone I used to be close to, and no matter how hard I try I cant get close to them again.
And then on the other hand, I have to get close to new people and no matter what I do, I cant seem to do that either. Its pretty much like I end up bouncing between people but I dont really belong anywhere. It makes me nervous, and when I am nervous I talk way too much and I am super loud, so I end up looking annoying & immature & thats not even who I am. I always tell myself i am gonna be calm and quiet, but it never works.
I just hate it because, it pushes people away and they don't seem interested in really getting to know me. But, at this point I feel like no one wants me and I am useless and a waste of space.
I really need help, like something I can do that can keep me calm and quiet or something, because I dont know anymore and part of me would just rather live life high and numb everyday and another part of me fears it.
I am afraid of what I am becoming and I have no one to save me from it......
PLEASE HELP, REALLY DESPERATE!!!!!!!!!!!
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