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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Short Stories & Poetry / Viewing Topic

lame poem
Replies: 4Last Post Sep. 27, 2008 11:20am by nikki123
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( Hey Jewlee )


Connoisseur
Reply
They turn
and begin to walk
away from each other
her to the metro station
him to the cafe where he works
past the drunks clutching bottles
past the chic stores
past the boarded up buildings
past the place where they first met
she starts down the stairs
he goes through the door
into the train
behind the counter
gone.

thoughts?

-------
green eyes, blue skies
natural disasters when she cries.


11:02 am on Sep. 27, 2008 | Joined: May 2008 | Days Active: 348
Join to learn more about Hey Jewlee Israel | GLBT Ally Female | Posts: 2,094 | Points: 6,032
LiveWire Humor
sosupkthnx


Visionary
Reply
What the fuck is this?

-------
I love gay people!!!! (But not like that.)

11:04 am on Sep. 27, 2008 | Joined: Feb. 2008 | Days Active: 306
Join to learn more about sosupkthnx Oman | Straight Male | Posts: 4,763 | Points: 8,173
carracer


Enlightened One
Reply
You said it yourself.
Its a lame poem.

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The world is only as sweet as you make it and only as terrible as you see it

11:05 am on Sep. 27, 2008 | Joined: Dec. 2007 | Days Active: 273
Join to learn more about carracer New York, United States | Straight Male | Posts: 10,546 | Points: 14,174
Louisianaaa X3


Personal Assistant
Reply
awe i like it verryy much

good job..

cept its mushy..

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i would rather be hated for who i am then loved for something im not 3


11:16 am on Sep. 27, 2008 | Joined: Sep. 2008 | Days Active: 6
Join to learn more about Louisianaaa X3 New Jersey, United States | Female | Posts: 117 | Points: 179
nikki123


Dairy Product Addict
Reply
not bad. would be a bit longer though and have a bit more detail but its alright. mediocre. keep trying.

-------
lets go tear down a barn =D

11:20 am on Sep. 27, 2008 | Joined: Aug. 2008 | Days Active: 47
Join to learn more about nikki123 Newfoundland and Labrador, Canada | Lesbian Female | Posts: 1,390 | Points: 1,872
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