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i dont know what to do, can someone help? |
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Replies: 13 Last Post Sep. 29 3:45pm by megandjd
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Phoenix 2008
Dairy Product Addict
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trust him if u love him so much
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( girl1986 )
Lawn Care Specialist
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Some of it is the cheating, but it is also the fact that he might get shipped out and not be home consistantly everynight. I would want to be able to come home to someone everynight. I would want a normal life with the specieal somebody, not have that special somebody in the army.
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Amay
Dairy Product Addict
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If you really love him, NO MATTER WHAT HIS OCCUPATION HAPPENS TO BE, you'd stay with him. And just accept it. You can tell him what you're worried and concerned about; but if you really care and love him, then you'd accept it right after you tell him how you feel.
------- Rawr.
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8:55 am on Sep. 29, 2008 | Joined Sep. 2008 | 38 Days Active Join to learn more about Amay Massachusetts, United States | Straight Female | 1205 Posts | 1597 Points
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Duke
Dairy Product Addict
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How is it that he's going into the Army, but is not going to be a soldier? If you're looking for a husband to work 9 to 5 and make it home for pot roast, mashed potatoes and ice cream every night, you're barking up the wrong tree. Whatever he's going to be in the Army, the likelihood of that happening for his career is non-existent.
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9:05 am on Sep. 29, 2008 | Joined Aug. 2007 | 176 Days Active Join to learn more about Duke Illinois, United States | Straight Male | 5529 Posts | 7167 Points
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( girl1986 )
Lawn Care Specialist
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no he hasn't cheated on me before, that was another guy im talking about.
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OverTheAir
jebi se
Patron
Support Leader
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Well I think what it comes down to, which is what it comes down to in most relationships, is trust and communication. Problems that you're thinking about can't get solved if you just keep them in your head. You two need to sit down and start talking about your future. You need to voice all of your concerns, whether or not you think it's what he wants to hear. You need to be honest and open with him. You've been dating for a month though, a month is nothing in the grand schemes of things. It's hard to fathom talking about engagement and marriage after only a month of dating, don't you think that's moving a bit too fast? From your post I think you're jumping to many conclusions.. like him being drafted, him cheating on you, etc. I know you were hurt in the past but this is somebody new and somebody you should trust if you are in a relationship with them. I don't know much about the army and how it works but I don't understand how they can draft somebody who isn't a soldier. But you should be asking him what the probabilities are that he will get drafted, how does he expect you to feel about all of this, etc. A 9-5 job is typical, I don't really understand why one would complain about that. But long distance is tough. It is technically possible and I hate to be a downer about the situation but they usually don't work and tend to cause more bad than good. But it depends on your relationship, some people can do it, some couples just cannot. But yeah I think you should just talk to him more in depth about your situation. Let him know how you feel about everything, even if you think it will hurt him, it needs to be said. Listen to him, and take it from there.
------- "A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left" -Marilyn Monroe
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Duke
Dairy Product Addict
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There is no draft! If he's in the Army, whatever his position is, he goes where and when the Army sends him. It's just that simple. It all sounds like you two are swept up in a situation that makes no sense. You've been dating a month and you want to get married. You want to marry him when he's going into the Army, but you don't want to live the Army life. You're going to get married, but have a long distance relationship? You have all these insecurities about him cheating. I'm sorry, I just don't see anyway that you two are in any way ready to be talking about marriage. You have too many other things to be working on first.
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11:10 am on Sep. 29, 2008 | Joined Aug. 2007 | 176 Days Active Join to learn more about Duke Illinois, United States | Straight Male | 5529 Posts | 7167 Points
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( girl1986 )
Lawn Care Specialist
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I already sat down and spoke with him about my feelings of him going into the army. He knows, but he says that is his only option.
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