You have to grab all the hope you have left and keep hold of it to live, there is no point in dying it wont solve a single thing

My advice is such:

- Bury all of your bad feelings as deep inside you as you can.
- Realize that, if it's really as bad as it can get then you have nothing to gain by killing yourself and nothing to lose by attempting to reinvent yourself. Turn that feeling of emptiness into an opportunity to reinvent yourself, your beliefs, and what you stand for and what you want to be percieved as.
- You can change who you are and you can change how people see you.

Always remember to think of things in an active sene, "I did this. I lost my wallet." and not "This happened to me. Why is my wallet missing."

Passive thinking is counterproductive and conducive to a depressed lifestyle full of anxiety because someone who thinks of their life in passive terms does not believe that his daily life and his destiny are under his control. He believes that shit's constantly happening to him, and not that he's constantly doing shit.

Since you have nothing to lose by giving my advice a shot, I say you give life another chance, commit yourself to six more months and follow my mindset advice and see if you're still where you are today.

I'm sorry that my advice is not "You'll get through it stay strong!"

That's what you'll hear from everyone else though so it's not like I'm depriving you of it.

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O` tru apothecary!
Thy drugs are quick.
Thus with a kiss I die.

While I advocate an active mindset, I only do so that you take responsibility for everything in life. In some cases though, responsibility is not on your end, these are rarer events,

Only in these rare events is it possible to discover our own true character.

You are not responsible for the fact that you are raped. It was against your will, and therefore out of your control.

What is in your control, and what you are responsible for, is how you live your life despite what happened to you, despite everything you've lost, despite your own deep depression, despite any other influence, is your ability to respond to your given situation here and now as you see fit.

You are in a position for great growth of character and personal spirit, and perhaps in the future you'll even get angry with yourself for thinking fondly of it after knowing what it wrought in your future and through personal achievement of knowing that you can get past anything, tough it through any hardship.

I know, as I've suffered incredible hardship. I won't criticize yours, though.

Ending your life, or even failing to start living life to the greatest extent and with the greatest amount of joy that you can (even if it's only a small amount), is just a vindication of the rapists belief that it's ok for him to do that to you, that you're somehow below him.

If you're dead and he's still running around, you are six feet underground and he's none the wiser.

Think about it seriously, as you can't see the future, the best wager you have is to bet all in on life since the only other choice is to quit the game.

Post edited at 2:06 am on Sep. 25, 2008 by medjai

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O` tru apothecary!
Thy drugs are quick.
Thus with a kiss I die.

PM me anytime if you need to talk

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If nothing we do matters
then all that matters is what we do.