I'm always having these nightmares about bad past events, and I can't seem to leave them. Like, I'll see myself in it, and yet I can't detach myself from the problem. As though I'm sucked in to find out what would have happened if things had of changed (the ending is often different to that of real life). Yet, it never does, and then I feel sad in the morning when I wake up and am forced to remember that past event. I guess it's because I don't talk about past events (the bad ones anyway) in real life, and so my brain always has to play tricks on me, because I'm forever ''bottled'' up. It's the only way for me to be though without being rejected or betrayed. I don't trust people anymore, and so I can't talk to them. Have seen two counsellors in the past, and just found them patronising more than anything.
I feel so messed up. 
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''The winning man is your creation. It's in his battle to
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aww i don't know how to make them stop but i hope you get better soon
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