So lately i have been so depressed, ive had a completely shit month since college started, as usuall im a complete loner, no one wants to know i exist. I hate myself more than ever, im fat, ugly and i hate everything about me 
. i dont think i can deal with college and everyone ignoring me 
. Then i found a girl, she is so special to me, but lives miles away. So i feel in love with her the moment we started talking, i dunno somthing about her made me fall in love with her like just like that. But now it seems i'll never see this girl, lifes just never going to give me a break and i cant deal with it. Ive had urges to cut myself more than usual and i know eventually im going to give in, just to feel better . before you say it, i have tried to make friends, they just dont wanna know me. i dont even know wot im trying to get out of this i just cant cope with being depressed all the time, most of the time i spend in my room cause i have no friends, and i usualy cry alot . I need to know someone cares about me but i know nobody does.
anyway thanks for listening to my pathetic story 
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I wouldn't advise cutting because relationships may pick up soon and you will regret it after. Talk to this girl and ask her to go for coffee or to the cinema or something. Just try thinking to yourself..This is my life and I have to do something to pick things up! I always try to think like that when I'm sad. Good luck x
i cant even give her a hug like i want to 
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