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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Short Stories & Poetry / Viewing Topic

Trying to decide
Replies: 10Last Post Nov. 6, 2008 11:23am by Editor in Chief
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Choice Votes Percent  
(1.) 5 23%
(2.) 16 76%
Vote Now! 21 Votes Cast
( cherrys77 )


Connoisseur
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Which ending to use for this part of my writing.

It starts out:"I would have worried that something would happen between us, worried that i wouldn't be strong enough."

Then to finish it off should i use this ending:(1.) "Most of all i would be worried that i would have to go through all the stages of grief for what seemed to be the millionth time in the past three months"

Or should i go with this ending: (2.) "Most of all i would be worried that after the 'happy high' i would be in denial, then angry. I would bargain with myself after cooling down. Then I would fall into a numb depression. And when i was finally ready for acceptance he would show his face again. Maybe not directly, but it would be enough to make me have to start over. Travel through all the stages once again. Losing myself more and more each time. Every trip through lasting longer and longer each time. Eating me"

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10:34 am on Nov. 6, 2008 | Joined: June 2008 | Days Active: 174
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EmmaJanex


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2 :)

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10:35 am on Nov. 6, 2008 | Joined: Dec. 2007 | Days Active: 48
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BabiiTempa


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2 is good good

10:35 am on Nov. 6, 2008 | Joined: July 2008 | Days Active: 85
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tinnainparis


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i love 2 its soo deep ♥♥♥

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10:35 am on Nov. 6, 2008 | Joined: Nov. 2008 | Days Active: 151
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SamanthaAngela


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well the second one is more poetic but you kind of repeat yourself in it... the first one is nice but it seems to be lacking what the second one has... if that makes sense

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10:36 am on Nov. 6, 2008 | Joined: Nov. 2006 | Days Active: 281
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TBMP


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with a little work, one. im a writer of all kinds, and no offense, but 2 is slightly redundant and a little overdone.

Post edited at 10:38 am on Nov. 6, 2008 by TBMP

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10:37 am on Nov. 6, 2008 | Joined: Sep. 2008 | Days Active: 173
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Rachelw


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2

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10:39 am on Nov. 6, 2008 | Joined: Oct. 2008 | Days Active: 129
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( cherrys77 )


Connoisseur
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Quote: from SamanthaAngela at 10:36 am on Nov. 6, 2008

well the second one is more poetic but you kind of repeat yourself in it... the first one is nice but it seems to be lacking what the second one has... if that makes sense

It makes perfect sense.

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10:41 am on Nov. 6, 2008 | Joined: June 2008 | Days Active: 174
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( cherrys77 )


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Quote: from TBMP at 10:37 am on Nov. 6, 2008

with a little work, one. im a writer of all kinds, and no offense, but 2 is slightly redundant and a little overdone.

Yes i know it is. These are rough drafts

I was simply trying to figure out if less detail (1) hit hard, or if more detail (2) hit harder.

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10:43 am on Nov. 6, 2008 | Joined: June 2008 | Days Active: 174
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Autumnal


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I liked 2. the best.

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10:50 am on Nov. 6, 2008 | Joined: Oct. 2008 | Days Active: 243
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Editor in Chief


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Quote: from TBMP at 10:37 am on Nov. 6, 2008

with a little work, one. im a writer of all kinds, and no offense, but 2 is slightly redundant and a little overdone.

I agree. I'm a writer too, though I feel like an ass saying that haha. But yeah, I think one hits harder though maybe with a little expansion. 2 is nice, it just goes on a bit too long for my taste.

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11:23 am on Nov. 6, 2008 | Joined: Oct. 2008 | Days Active: 259
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