It starts out:"I would have worried that something would happen between us, worried that i wouldn't be strong enough."

Then to finish it off should i use this ending:(1.) "Most of all i would be worried that i would have to go through all the stages of grief for what seemed to be the millionth time in the past three months"

Or should i go with this ending: (2.) "Most of all i would be worried that after the 'happy high' i would be in denial, then angry. I would bargain with myself after cooling down. Then I would fall into a numb depression. And when i was finally ready for acceptance he would show his face again. Maybe not directly, but it would be enough to make me have to start over. Travel through all the stages once again. Losing myself more and more each time. Every trip through lasting longer and longer each time. Eating me"

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All general statements are untrue.

Post edited at 10:38 am on Nov. 6, 2008 by TBMP

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well the second one is more poetic but you kind of repeat yourself in it... the first one is nice but it seems to be lacking what the second one has... if that makes sense

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It makes perfect sense.

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All general statements are untrue.

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with a little work, one. im a writer of all kinds, and no offense, but 2 is slightly redundant and a little overdone.

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Yes i know it is. These are rough drafts

I was simply trying to figure out if less detail (1) hit hard, or if more detail (2) hit harder.

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All general statements are untrue.

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with a little work, one. im a writer of all kinds, and no offense, but 2 is slightly redundant and a little overdone.

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I agree. I'm a writer too, though I feel like an ass saying that haha. But yeah, I think one hits harder though maybe with a little expansion. 2 is nice, it just goes on a bit too long for my taste.

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Go make your next choice be your best choice
And if you're looking for a boy with a voice, well, baby I'm single.

Are you in the mood for some dude, or are you in the mood to be subdued?