I for real have no options left. I've done counseling, been put on several different meds, self-medicated with drugs, tried to force myself to feel fine, became extremely indifferent to everything

but I am fucking DONE, I can't do it anymore. I'm so sad and alone here at college and all I want is my mom to be here to hug me and tell me it will be ok

but I know it won't be, it never has been. the few moments I could bear haven't been worth the nightmare I've been living in, I just want out of my own fucking head

-------
set out runnin but I take my time
a friend of the devil is a friend of mine
if I get home before daylight, I just might get some sleep tonight.

All I can say that might be comforting is at least you're not alone in this. When I feel like shit I always have this fucked up idea that everyone else is just fine and I envy them. Being unhappy makes you feel isolated but I think a lot of the time there are people around you finding it just as hard even if they don't show it.

Are you really alone or do you have friends but they don't seem close or do you just feel cutoff from your close friends emotionally?

I feel completely alone even though I'm not really I'm wondering if it's the same for you.

---

I have friends here but I feel like I haven't connected with anyone. I haven't been very genuine in the friendships I've formed because I've been so depressed for the past couple months that it's hard to even bother trying.

---

all in the mind, i guess.

Post edited at 3:48 am on Nov. 2, 2008 by Poker Shark