LiveWire Network Peer Answers Peer Support Teen Forums Tech Forums College Forums 472 users online 225118 members 1598 active today Advertise Here Sign In
TeenCollegeTechPhotos | Quizzes | LiveSecret | Memberlist | Dictionary | News | FAQ
Member Spotlight
Bobster the Lobster
Interests: My band. www.myspace.com/colored...
Mood: Hopeless
You have 1 new message.
Emergency Help
Until you sign up you can't do much. Yes, it's free.

Sign Up Now
Membername:
Password:
Already have an account?
Invite Friends
Active Members
Groups
Contests
Moderators
4 online / 32 MPM
Fresh Topics
  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Short Stories & Poetry / Viewing Topic

A poem.
Replies: 5Last Post Oct. 24, 2008 5:57pm by ocdbabe
Welcome to LiveWire!
We're Stronger Together.
Join the Community
Single page for this topic Email Print Favorite
( ocdbabe )


Wealthy Hobo
Reply
Sun high, thoughts low.
She'd never felt like this before.
The young lover was alone
even with a friend by her side.
She wished for rain to match her mood
and remembered the days when she prayed for light.
A friend by her side who spoke kind words
and reassured her she would be just fine.
A friend by her side who thought he knew
and assumed she spoke the truth.
Falling thoughts, rising sun.
She didn't care for serenity though.
All I had to do was look her in the eyes,
and I knew.


-------
If your heart were broken,
you'd be dead.

5:40 pm on Oct. 24, 2008 | Joined: June 2007 | Days Active: 151
Join to learn more about ocdbabe Washington, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 3,124 | Points: 4,974
LiveWire Humor
dragon14


Professional
Reply
awwwwwww cool i think that you could use more words that sound the same but its fine like that

-------
hate the world and not yourself
feel good and dont forget your friends in the process

5:44 pm on Oct. 24, 2008 | Joined: Sep. 2008 | Days Active: 85
Join to learn more about dragon14 Ohio, United States | Bisexual Female | Posts: 1,635 | Points: 2,587
chaosdisown


Soothsayer
Reply
nice use of words, but the lines seem kinda lost in organization...

-------
I have more conversations with dial tones than i do with people.

5:45 pm on Oct. 24, 2008 | Joined: June 2008 | Days Active: 321
Join to learn more about chaosdisown Michigan, United States | Gay Male | Posts: 9,126 | Points: 12,624
( ocdbabe )


Wealthy Hobo
Reply
Thanks guys, yeah, I definitely am not good with the breaking of lines. Haha

-------
If your heart were broken,
you'd be dead.

5:50 pm on Oct. 24, 2008 | Joined: June 2007 | Days Active: 151
Join to learn more about ocdbabe Washington, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 3,124 | Points: 4,974
chaosdisown


Soothsayer
Reply
i mean, the foundation is good, but it needs more structure, something that brings it to life.

-------
I have more conversations with dial tones than i do with people.

5:54 pm on Oct. 24, 2008 | Joined: June 2008 | Days Active: 321
Join to learn more about chaosdisown Michigan, United States | Gay Male | Posts: 9,126 | Points: 12,624
( ocdbabe )


Wealthy Hobo
Reply
Quote: from chaosdisown at 5:54 pm on Oct. 24, 2008

i mean, the foundation is good, but it needs more structure, something that brings it to life.

I kind of threw it together.I like the general idea, but I know that it needs a bit more.

-------
If your heart were broken,
you'd be dead.

5:57 pm on Oct. 24, 2008 | Joined: June 2007 | Days Active: 151
Join to learn more about ocdbabe Washington, United States | Straight Female | Posts: 3,124 | Points: 4,974
Single page for this topic Email Print Favorite

Quick Reply

You are signed in as our guest.

Looking for something else?
 

  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Short Stories & Poetry / Viewing Topic