Upon my neck I had a dream that one day I would join their ranks Upon this dream that in my head after they bit I would say thanks And if upon I happenstance to a blooded victim find I will gouge up into her, devour her body, soul and mind Avoiding village mobs and slayers, living in coffins and tombs night would be the time to play before returning to my earthly womb alas sweet vampyre, bite this neck so I can join your epic fold I find these days and harrowed nights that I am always alone and cold
Tell me what you think, I was thinking of getting it published in New Yorker capitolizing on halloween but maybe it would be more artistically viable to to wait until I have more so I can publish aa book and that way im not selling out to the man
4:07 am on Oct. 25, 2008
EmileeM14
Quality Control Engineer
its... interesting...
4:08 am on Oct. 25, 2008 | Joined: April 2008 | Days Active: 22 Join to learn more about EmileeM14United Kingdom | Posts: 752 | Points: 996
wink
Dairy Product Addict
It good,I like it.Whatever you choose to do just go for. Best of luck :)
4:09 am on Oct. 25, 2008 | Joined: Sep. 2008 | Days Active: 117 Join to learn more about winkUnited States | Posts: 495 | Points: 1,797
Lala ninja
Dairy Product Addict
its gory
------- This sex is on fire - most heard song on dublin trip :D You can dress me up in diamonds...you can dress me up in dirt.
4:10 am on Oct. 25, 2008 | Joined: Oct. 2008 | Days Active: 19 Join to learn more about Lala ninjaIreland | StraightFemale | Posts: 1,002 | Points: 1,147
( Anonymous )
it really tells about my dreams emotion and desire. Do you think I should publish in new yorker or London times or which magazine is best for my first publishment work?
The second sentence seems too casual, the way you would say "thanks"...maybe instead of saying thanks, say something like I would be grateful or something...?
------- "You are all muggers. You have no life experience." =0 I live in a state of poverty so you should all donate for me.
4:13 am on Oct. 25, 2008 | Joined: Oct. 2007 | Days Active: 428 Join to learn more about cherryDSingapore | Female | Posts: 11,433 | Points: 27,330
tell me again
avatar gone 4eva D= Patron
It's really good, as far as poetry here goes.
If you want to publish it... it may need a bit more of a point to it though. Rather than describing something, it needs to make a statement.
Feel free to submit it though, if you don't submit you'll never know.
11:53 am on Oct. 26, 2008 | Joined: June 2006 | Days Active: 720 Join to learn more about tell me againAustralia | Label FreeFemale | Posts: 15,848 | Points: 31,129
( Anonymous )
i just made this up on the spot as a joke, not trying to make it good after reading a really emo poem and a bunch of people saying it was good. I wanted to see if I could write an inane poem that was as emo as possible if people would like it. It took me a minute to do this shit lol
5:33 pm on Oct. 26, 2008
jfish
Dairy Product Addict
Any poem titled "EPIC VAMPIRE SLAUGHTER" is the best ever written in my book. And I didn't even read it yet.
7:02 pm on Oct. 26, 2008 | Joined: Jan. 2008 | Days Active: 85 Join to learn more about jfishAntarctica | Label FreeMale | Posts: 404 | Points: 1,321
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