I'm so tired of having to talk myself down from being mad/crying/etc., I just want to know what's wrong...why I can't just stop feeling like this.

Post edited at 6:01 pm on Oct. 31, 2008 by thatsumguy1

The difference between Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and Obsessive Compulsive behaviors (OCB's) is that in order for there to be an OCD diagnosis, the obsessions and compulsions must be negatively affecting your daily life.  A lot of people have OCB's, however they don't affect them enough for it to be considered an official disorder.

I think the main question is, what's CUASING your anxiety?  If it's your drive to perform these obsessive compulsive behaviors, then you may want to get screened for OCD.  If it's just general anxiety, it could be something totally different.

Obsessive compulsive disorder consists of more than just anxiety.  It involves what causes the anxiety itself, just as greatescape so kindly mentioned.  Most people experience some form of obsessive or compulsive behavior.  It becomes a disorder when one other key element comes into play.  This element is interference with your day to day activities.  If your thoughts are distracting enough that it is starting to effect your life negatively, such as if you can't pay attention in class causing falling grades, then it is necessary to seek therapy for these issues.

Click for a self inventory
The Florida Obsessive-Compulsive Inventory OCD Screening Test (FOCI)

Try taking these inventories and seeing where this gets you, and if you would like to go ahead and private message me, then I will talk with you more about what is causing this anxiety and what we can do to try to cut those things out.

I hope I helped out a bit.  I am sure either me or greatescape11 will be happy to talk to you on a regular basis.

Best of luck and I hope to here from you soon!  I will be checking back on this topic.

~Shaun


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I don't know, I think I am 70/40 on this issue. I always give it my 110%.

"Programming first...notebook, pencil, glasses, black folder, flash drive... Math second...notebook, pencil, glasses... Other stuff...keycard, ID, cell phone..."

I always start with the first class and end with Math. I do the same thing for my third class even though I only need a few things and am even aware of this fact. I still have to think about it.

"Human Factors...notebook, pencil, glasses... Keycard, ID, cell phone..."

When I pack to go home/come back to school, I do the same thing. Mind you, I only started doing this about a year ago during my Freshman year. When it was time for me to leave, I opened each of my drawers about five or six times even though I logically knew that I'd already emptied them. and then when the RA asked if I was sure that I had everything, I said, "Uhh...I'll check one more time." and opened them all again. I did the same thing my second semester.

"Sure you have everything?"
"Mmm, I'll check again."

And then once, when I stayed with my Gram, she told me that in order to wash my hair, I'd have to turn on the furnace, let it run for 15 minutes, and then shut it off. All day long, I worried that I hadn't shut it off even though I sort of knew I had. Even after I mentioned this problem to my Gram and she reassured me that I hadn't left it on, I still felt that I might have.

And every time I get up to leave my class, I have to turn around and look behind me to make sure I haven't forgotten anything or I'll obsess over it for hours.

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Heyy :) Sorry about all this! I am a psych major at college, and I will try to give you what little insight I can.

Obsessive compulsive disorder consists of more than just anxiety. It involves what causes the anxiety itself, just as greatescape so kindly mentioned. Most people experience some form of obsessive or compulsive behavior. It becomes a disorder when one other key element comes into play. This element is interference with your day to day activities. If your thoughts are distracting enough that it is starting to effect your life negatively, such as if you can't pay attention in class causing falling grades, then it is necessary to seek therapy for these issues.  

Click for a self inventory  
The Florida Obsessive-Compulsive Inventory OCD Screening Test (FOCI)  

Try taking these inventories and seeing where this gets you, and if you would like to go ahead and private message me, then I will talk with you more about what is causing this anxiety and what we can do to try to cut those things out.

I hope I helped out a bit. I am sure either me or greatescape11 will be happy to talk to you on a regular basis.

Best of luck and I hope to here from you soon! I will be checking back on this topic.

~Shaun

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Thanks, I appreciate the help. :)

I'll be sure to look those links over.

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You don't have permission to access /cgi-bin/ocdtest1.pl on this server.

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Apache/2.0.54 (Fedora) Server at www.ocfoundation.org Port 80

This way, you don't have to run though it over again because you will have it checked already.  This really helped me be confident in what I needed for the day.

As for the rest of it, I am obviously not qualified to diagnose you, but based off of what I've learned it seems that there is really only one factor that is really affecting you negatively, and that is the anxiety, and dwelling on things.  It seems like the thing that will help you best is confidence.  If you are turning off that furnace, then just really remember that moment and keep it in your head.  That furnace is off!  Say it out loud to yourself if need be.

There are tools you can use to combat this, and I don't think that a doctor would sit there and say you have a psychological disorder. Remember, the one thing you don't want to do is start at the conclusion and justify it. You want to look at your issues as objectively as possible and arrive at the conclusion that way. There are many other things that you could have wrong, or it could be part of a bigger problem.

Just remember, my inbox is always open, whoever you are. I'll keep it between us if you want someone to talk to.

~Shaun

Post edited at 6:40 pm on Oct. 31, 2008 by wOlF

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I don't know, I think I am 70/40 on this issue. I always give it my 110%.

I didn't/don't think I have OCD, I'm just...I want to know why I hold onto things so hard, why I find ways to doubt EVERYTHING and it's the only thing that came to mind. It's causing a lot of fights between my boyfriend and I and I just want it to end.

And yet, at the same time...I don't because I want to hang onto my anger because I don't WANT to forget what happened, I'm afraid that if I do forget, it'll happen again and catch me off guard.

An ex of his named Katie told him to dump me without asking him why I was upset with him in the first place. If she had, she would have known to keep her fat face shut, everything was his fault. He'd fucked up and I finally stood up for myself but she didn't care. I still obsess over that. He mentioned her earlier and just the mere mention of her name enraged me. We're not talking at the moment because I thought it'd be best to avoid him rather than rip him apart over her again. I obsess over it. I can't even stop thinking about them still talking when, logically, I know that she's too much of a selfish bitch to bother with him until she wants something.

He told me that he loved another ex of his right after we started dating. To date, I still can't shake the feeling that he's still into her in some way even though this occurred almost a year ago. I still hate her with every fiber of my being.

Another ex of his was hitting on him after we started dating and I'm still pissed off over that. I still want to know what she said, what they talked about, if he flirted back, etc.

A few other girls came and went, too. And it hurts so bad...all I need do is think about it and I start crying. Fuck, I'm crying now and he hasn't even mentioned them. He wants me to forget but I obsess over how he let them hurt me, how he didn't stand up for me, he left me alone. And no matter what he says or does, I'm still suffering and I know I shouldn't logically still be hurting.

I think about all of the things he's said and done every day, just randomly, and start to tear up. I tear up in class, on the bus, walking to class, laying in bed at night, watching TV, etc. Music, movies, TV shows, books, etc. set me off.  

Hell, I can't even watch the Harry Potter movies or read the books anymore because about two weeks before we broke up the first time (I was out of control, I was in even more pain then and had really bad panic attacks), he made a thread on a fansite about how he had/has "an obsession with Evanna Lynch" and even pretended he was single. He wrote things about her that he has never said about me and I've been through hell with and for him, I'm the only one that has stayed by him and I've been called an idiot for it and told to leave so many times and it feels like it doesn't matter.

I remember things he said months and months ago and I still doubt what he says now because of it. It's always this nagging feeling that he's lying to me, he's hiding something, something is wrong.

I don't trust much anymore. I don't even trust what's in front of me. I need my Profs to tell me to my face that I'm passing or what have you, I can't just look at my grades, I'm always afraid that I'm misinterpreting them somehow but I never ask because they don't understand that I just need confirmation. I still don't believe that I have an A in one of my classes, I think I do but the Prof didn't say I do so I think I have a C because I got a 77% on my midterm and it drives me nuts. I just want to ask him so badly but I know he'd say, "What does your grade come to online?" and that doesn't help, I need to hear it and it gets to my boyfriend that I obsess over it.

It bothers him that I obsess over my homework, too. I got my last Programming assignment in late which means I can only get an 80% at the highest but they're only worth 4 points anyways so he told me to relax and just go to bed but I ended up having a panic attack. I bawled for about an hour.

And over the past year, I've developed self-destructive habits to try and deal. I've pinched, hit, cut, and burned. It's the only thing that can make the pain slow down, at the very least, and because I feel like I'm so screwed up and things are so wrong, I just sort of hate myself.

Post edited at 7:08 pm on Oct. 31, 2008 by Anonymous

~Shaun

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I don't know, I think I am 70/40 on this issue. I always give it my 110%.