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  LiveWire / Teen Forums / Short Stories & Poetry / Viewing Topic

I love you
song/poem I wrote.
Replies: 13 — Last Post Oct. 26, 2008 5:23pm by emmy350
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( MusicalSuicide17 )


Guru
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Idk. Its not too good but w/e.

I'm sitting alone inside myself/Wondering if the cards I'm dealt/Are worth playing in this game/The one where you get inside my head/And twist around everything I've said/The words you speak are they true?/Is there really a me and you?/Cuz I can't understand/Why?/Would you have to lie/Diretctly to my heart/Is this how it starts?/You love me today/Tomorrow what will you say?/I'm drawing blanks and can't describe/The way you make me feel inside/I will break into pieces just for you/Put me back together soon/Or am I puzzled just like you?/I feel broken/And I'm chokin on these three words/Do you know what I mean?/I'm screaming I love you/I love you so

Post edited at 10:59 am on Oct. 23, 2008 by MusicalSuicide17

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Don't mind me if I get weak in the knees cuz you have
that affect on me..you do..

10:49 am on Oct. 23, 2008 | Joined: Feb. 2007 | Days Active: 629
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LiveWire Humor
Jadien


Visionary
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Well, it is passionate.

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Indescribable.
10:51 am on Oct. 23, 2008 | Joined: June 2008 | Days Active: 204
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snowcone200


Enlightened One
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Would sound better as a song then poem. need more ryhme for a normal love poem and more deepness? but as a song it good
10:52 am on Oct. 23, 2008 | Joined: Mar. 2007 | Days Active: 352
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( MusicalSuicide17 )


Guru
Patron 		Reply
Quote: from Jadien at 1:51 pm on Oct. 23, 2008
Well, it is passionate.

Thanks

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Don't mind me if I get weak in the knees cuz you have
that affect on me..you do..
10:52 am on Oct. 23, 2008 | Joined: Feb. 2007 | Days Active: 629
Join to learn more about MusicalSuicide17 Ohio, United States | Lesbian Female | Posts: 5,042 | Points: 21,280
Napster the Hacker


Omnipotent One
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whts with all slashers? '/'
good one though

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10:53 am on Oct. 23, 2008 | Joined: Mar. 2006 | Days Active: 866
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Eos


Swami
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I love you too.

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when you came in, the air went out,
and every shadow filled up with doubt
10:55 am on Oct. 23, 2008 | Joined: Aug. 2008 | Days Active: 425
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Jadien


Visionary
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Quote: from Napster the Hacker at 1:53 pm on Oct. 23, 2008
whts with all slashers? '/'
good one though

It designates the lines of poetry so it's not just a big run on sentence.

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Indescribable.

10:55 am on Oct. 23, 2008 | Joined: June 2008 | Days Active: 204
Join to learn more about Jadien Texas, United States | GLBT Ally Female | Posts: 4,704 | Points: 8,196
( MusicalSuicide17 )


Guru
Patron 		Reply
Quote: from Jadien at 1:55 pm on Oct. 23, 2008
Quote: from Napster the Hacker at 1:53 pm on Oct. 23, 2008
whts with all slashers? '/'  
 good one though

It designates the lines of poetry so it's not just a big run on sentence.


Yup  

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Don't mind me if I get weak in the knees cuz you have
that affect on me..you do..
10:56 am on Oct. 23, 2008 | Joined: Feb. 2007 | Days Active: 629
Join to learn more about MusicalSuicide17 Ohio, United States | Lesbian Female | Posts: 5,042 | Points: 21,280
superchris4000


Executive 		Reply
Really good. It would also sound good as a song. lol

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Revenge is not an idea we promote on my planet.
But, we're not on my planet, are we?
10:56 am on Oct. 23, 2008 | Joined: Feb. 2008 | Days Active: 169
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bloodhunter


Wealthy Hobo 		Reply
That's really good I love it

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I'm at the end of my rope and I
don't want to hold on any longer.
11:01 am on Oct. 23, 2008 | Joined: June 2008 | Days Active: 135
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Napster the Hacker


Omnipotent One
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Quote: from Jadien at 11:25 pm on Oct. 23, 2008
Quote: from Napster the Hacker at 1:53 pm on Oct. 23, 2008
whts with all slashers? '/'  
 good one though

It designates the lines of poetry so it's not just a big run on sentence.

ow, never knew that.well never did poetry :P  

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SEO Company UK | Independent Web Designer |  

11:01 am on Oct. 23, 2008 | Joined: Mar. 2006 | Days Active: 866
Join to learn more about Napster the Hacker Sri Lanka | Straight Male | Posts: 9,040 | Points: 18,779
Jadien


Visionary
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Quote: from Napster the Hacker at 2:01 pm on Oct. 23, 2008
Quote: from Jadien at 11:25 pm on Oct. 23, 2008
Quote: from Napster the Hacker at 1:53 pm on Oct. 23, 2008
whts with all slashers? '/'
  good one though
 

 It designates the lines of poetry so it's not just a big run on sentence.

 ow, never knew that.well never did poetry :P

Haha, I don't do it either. I just assumed it was common knowledge.

Haha, I guess you do learn something new everyday. (:

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Indescribable.

11:03 am on Oct. 23, 2008 | Joined: June 2008 | Days Active: 204
Join to learn more about Jadien Texas, United States | GLBT Ally Female | Posts: 4,704 | Points: 8,196
Napster the Hacker


Omnipotent One
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Quote: from Jadien at 11:33 pm on Oct. 23, 2008
Quote: from Napster the Hacker at 2:01 pm on Oct. 23, 2008
Quote: from Jadien at 11:25 pm on Oct. 23, 2008
Quote: from Napster the Hacker at 1:53 pm on Oct. 23, 2008
whts with all slashers? '/'    
  good one though

  It designates the lines of poetry so it's not just a big run on sentence.

 

  ow, never knew that.well never did poetry :P  

Haha, I don't do it either. I just assumed it was common knowledge.  

Haha, I guess you do learn something new everyday. (:


hehe yeah ofc :P

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1:44 pm on Oct. 23, 2008 | Joined: Mar. 2006 | Days Active: 866
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emmy350


Yo, what up playa!?
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Aww, that's really sweet and a tad bit sad.

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Dale. One-two-three-four. Uno-dos-tres-cuatro.
I know you want me... you know I want cha.
5:23 pm on Oct. 26, 2008 | Joined: Jan. 2006 | Days Active: 835
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