every time i bring it up they change the subject, say they wanna hear the TV, tell me that if i went to see one it would make me more confused about my mental health, i tried explaining my views and i was persistent, i am asking for help and they are refusing to give me any.

they know i feel depressed but not about the suicidal thoughts or the self harm and i could never tell them about that, EVER!!

Why are they acting like this? how do i convince them to get me help?

(don't wanna call Samaritans, and i don't think there is a school councilor)

What you should do is probably get hold of a hotline or go to a local peer support group ( not like livewire, but a local support group in say, in your local community center. ) They kind of have those usually late evenings/nights. Search the yellow pages for any sort of support groups / non-profit organizations / non-profit psychologists
That you can just take a bus or walk to.

In a situation where my parents wouldnt understand, I'd Flip out during the dinner table begging for psychologist but that would scare them and probably make them a little angry. ( either blaming for what you've been doing thats making you like that, or blaming themselves for not being better parents )
Reach out for them more. 1 on 1 with your mom/dad. whoever understands you more better. Tell them its a serious issue and that you came for them because you trust them on this. Probably tell them that they'd help you so much and you'd be able to concentrate more on studies/life in general. If they are worried about money, then tell them there are non-profit organizations that maybe you can attend for a while.  

Really though, not many parents are as understanding. And not alot of them would go that far to accept a request for their own child to visit a psychologist. but it doesn't hurt to try

I'd like to ask you though. That self harming, although I wouldnt know how you feel about it much or why you are doing it, I'm really asking you not to do it. My friend ended up in the hospital just recently because he was a cutter. The fact that he almost died scares me as much as many other people doing it. If you want to talk more about your problems, I'd be most willingly to talk it out with you and to listen to your problems. hopefully solve them .
Feel free to PM me for suuree

- rufo

-------
Expression, Rhythm, Skill, And Passion
Class Of 09 -