Some days I'm happy and I can explain why I'm happy but I just am. But the majority of my days are spent being depressed, and dragging my body out in public everyday is torturous. I don't like people to see me when I am down. But I am always down. It's affecting everything in my life. And It just makes me so inefficient.

I always seem to be angry and irritated. I wasn't this way when I was younger. Everything around me seems to bother and irritate me to hell. I have a hard time controlling my anger. It makes me such a miserable person being this way however. The worst part is that I don't know what is making me so angry. I have such a hatred and anger buried deep, I feel as though any small thing could set me off in rage. I need someway to release my anger. The gym helps but I can't go there a lot between work and school. I don't even have time for a life. Not that I'd have one anyway.

I am constantly thinking of suicide. When I fail I tend to get really down and depressed and I just starting thinking that I wanna die. I fail a lot so I feel like this a lot. I just start thinking of how I wouldn't have to feel like I feel like If I just died. How I wouldn't have to be stupid me anymore.

It's just so difficult to explain everything that goes on in my mind. I feel like I need some kind of medication because I'm literally always depressed. I'm never happy. I'm always angry and frustrated. I just want it to go away.

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Endless, Hysteria...