I know the following is a bit lengthy but I felt the need to go in depth to increase my chances on receiving accurate advice to make the correct decision 
As soon as I signed up for an account I made friends with
GabTheBlab
We got to talking because I was helping her resolve an issue with her boyfriend at the time. He left her because a girl spread rumors of Gabs sleeping around just because Gabs wouldn't let the girl keep a microwave that the girl borrowed from Gabs. After reading her post about it I contacted her with "Damn! That must have been some microwave." and preceived with giving advice to fix the situation. He had already moved on by this point. I know what an asshole right?
Anyway our personalities click most likely because we have the same sense of humor. Our views have similarities when it comes to being a loyal friend as well. Given certain circumstances we decided that I move to South Dakota. I will not be able to do this as soon as we had hoped because her school wouldn't let me transfer at this time. We are both going to school for Graphic Design. I am also studying Sociology. I wasn't going to be able to visit her until Thanksgiving vacation but the state of MA takes 9/11 seriously and I received 3 days off from school followed by the weekend for a total of 5 because I have actually had a loved one died during the attack and am diagnosed with PTSD amongst other mental disorders.
I called her up yesterday to see if it would be alright for me to visit. She seemed very excited which cheered me up from all the controversy that is taking place on LW. Apparently I come off as "being more important than I think I am" and some Mods have it in for me. I couldn't even receive help when I needed it because false reasons kept popping up as to why certain Mods were constantly moving my topic in forums that weren't appropriate for my post while seeking moral support! (Check my posts to be further understand the situation.)
I was looking up flight tickets for an appropriate flight schedule to let Gabs know when I will be arriving. I did this in order for them to properly prepare for the road trip in picking me up at the airport. The glare from my iMac allowed me to observe wrinkles that were currently forming at the time which freaked me the FUCK out
..
This lead me to check my arms and where I found alot of swelling under the skin and the muscle mass has decreased dramatically. I then checked my thighs just to find the same result! There are also patches of skin that are being eaten away.I wouldn't consider the appearance being severe at all otherwise I would have noticed without the glare from my iMac. Although I have felt internal pain within these areas. I did some research and drew the conclusion that I have Scieroderma which is a chronic disease characterized by excessive deposits of collagen in the skin or other organs.. along with my already diagnosed MS. 
I just got off the phone with the doctors. I decided to call in the symptoms to confirm my analysis. I am strongly advised to be admitted into Brigham and Woman's Hospital for an official diagnosis. (Boston) From there they will determine if my treatment date already set at its MS center needs to be moved closer as it previously has. It moved from late November to September after a top neurologist noted I was to be seen sooner.
I posted a post 'Multiple Scorosis' shortly after hearing the news in order to receive guidance on how to cope with something like this.
There is no doubt in my mind that I am progressively getting worse and am losing the battle altogether. I really want to visit Gabs because she practically means the world to me. 
I am debating if I should wait to be seen by a neurologist with the fact that my form of MS could be fatal at any given point of time from complications or if I should listen to my doctors because of this..
I do not want to upset her either way. We haven't been in contact before last night for quite some period of time after I confronted her about my MS. I felt as if I have already pushed her away. This is most likely because my abandonment issues tend to lead to paranoia of it happening again.
Her friend who is going to be there called to see if I was still flying in this evening. I told him about my situation. He assured me Gabs will completely understand and will always be here so I should see the neurologist first.. but the thing he didn't comprehend is that I may not be!
What should I do?
Post edited at 10:04 am on Sep. 10, 2008 by Bres LiveWire
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LiveWife "Shit Bre.. your avatar turned darker and so did your posts!"
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You should go to the hospital and have it checked out. If at all possible, have her come see you in the hospital, or at least postpone the trip until you are able to see her. There is no reason why you should risk your health to see someone. I'm sure any reasonable person would rather postpone one visit and you be healthy, then to forgo your health to visit them, and risk seriously being sick.
