Adding Reply Archived Topic: It will not be bumped to the top of the forum. Topic an apology Membername   Not a member? Sign Up Free (takes 20 seconds) Password   Forgotten your password? Post Font: Verdana Arial Black Georgia Comic Sans Impact   Size: Tiny Normal Big Huge   Color: Default Dark Red Red Orange Brown Green Olive Cyan Blue Dark Blue Indigo Black [ Check Spelling ] [ Post Preview ] [ LiveTags ] FAQ Keyword Search: Post Options Favorites Manager Notify me of new replies to this topic by email Notify me of new replies to this topic by private message Original Post blufindr Posted at 3:49 am on June 29, 2008 i needed to get this off my chest, before i actually do anything about it. to ben, giles, iris, and all others involved: i am sorry i broke my 'contract', i really am. i can't help that. and you are all better off without me. i'm sorry that we can't do everything we planned together. i'm sorry that things are never going to be the same again. and i'm sorry i've reverted back to the way i was. i can't cope with this, you know i can't. i know you want to help me, but helping me is hurting you. and i can't stand hurting you. not any of you. least of all you, ben. i love you more than anything. but i can't stand hurting you anymore. i won't be doing anything stupid like suicide. but please don't be surprised if i am withdrawing from you. i swear, i only ever meant the best for you. i swear i never meant to let it come to this.

Replies iamben Posted at 10:03 pm on June 29, 2008 Quote: from piertangent at 7:24 pm on June 29, 2008 Delicious seeking of attention. Seeing as you don't know the situation, it's better if you keep your opinions to yourself. Even so, attention seeking is a problem in itself, and shouldn't be undermined.   iamben Posted at 9:56 pm on June 29, 2008 Quote: from blufindr at 6:49 pm on June 29, 2008 i am sorry i broke my 'contract', i really am. i can't help that. and you are all better off without me. i'm sorry that we can't do everything we planned together. i'm sorry that things are never going to be the same again. and i'm sorry i've reverted back to the way i was. You know that's not true, you tried to, but you never really changed. It's not a matter of suddenly becoming better, these things take time and there is always ups and downs. This contract idea is something I have done before, and it never works, you are trying to be better for everyone else and not for yourself. You might feel really happy, but deep down you are still struggling with the same issues you always had. That's not to say it isn't always helpful, setting yourself goals can be a really good thing, you just need to look at it differently when you fall short. Look at how far you have come and what you have managed to do, you did awesome, don't get discouraged by one short coming. Set up another goal and try to keep to that, and just keep moving progressively forward. I personally think some of the solution comes with attacking the source, working out ways around the problems and addressing the way you think. But, I'm no psychologist, that was the way that helped me get through my problems, there are various other methods. i can't cope with this, you know i can't. i know you want to help me, but helping me is hurting you. and i can't stand hurting you. not any of you. You can cope with this, it's just a matter of persistence and hard work. It's never meant to be easy, but these things can change, you have seen that over the last fortnight to some extent. Also, you are not hurting anyone, as far as I'm aware. If these people love you then seeing you try to get better is making them feel better. Falling short every now and then is just part of the process. One thing you do need to learn is that you can't be completely dependent on those around you though. i won't be doing anything stupid like suicide. but please don't be surprised if i am withdrawing from you. i swear, i only ever meant the best for you. i swear i never meant to let it come to this. I hope you start to feel better, but you know you don't have to change the relationships with those around you. Isolating yourself isn't going to do anyone any favours, honestly. piertangent Posted at 4:24 am on June 29, 2008 Quote: from blufindr at 4:05 am on June 29, 2008 Quote: from muphnplutonic at 8:58 pm on June 29, 2008 I hope whatever your doing is going to be better for yourself.. i cut, is that better? Delicious seeking of attention. blufindr Posted at 4:05 am on June 29, 2008 Quote: from muphnplutonic at 8:58 pm on June 29, 2008 I hope whatever your doing is going to be better for yourself.. i cut, is that better? Crazy Natalie Posted at 4:00 am on June 29, 2008 Post from this position was omitted due to content violations muphnplutonic Posted at 3:58 am on June 29, 2008 I hope whatever your doing is going to be better for yourself.. shazza1515 Posted at 3:51 am on June 29, 2008 yes HatesYou Posted at 3:49 am on June 29, 2008 Good luck. All 8 previous replies displayed.