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Topic Valid reason to hate her?
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Original Post
Anonymous Posted at 1:23 pm on Aug. 26, 2008
My older sister has been my guardian for almost 6 years, now. We used to be really close before she became my guardian but, of course, everyone changes and I'm used to it. I've been depressed for about 3 years and at first I really wanted help. I wanted someone to know how I felt but no one noticed. I gave up on getting help and decided to keep everything to myself. My sister started noticing my "changing" last year. She started making comments about how sad I seem and how much I've distanced myself from everybody. I wanted to tell her how I felt but instead of asking me was anything wrong, she blamed all my mysterious mood swings on me being a teenager. She told me that I only have 3 more years with her as my guardian then she doesn't care anymore.
I can't stand that she doesn't know and every time she brings up the fact that I'm changing I hate her. I get these stomach pains from stress but when she took me to the doctors and he asked me was I stressed she quickly answered for me and said no I was just complaining.  
Do I have a valid reason to hate her because for some reason, I do?

Replies
dreamweaver Posted at 1:31 pm on Aug. 26, 2008
Hate is such a strong word...

Have you've tried talking to her? It just sounds like she may be in denial that something is indeed wrong with you and she's afraid to confront it as well. It's hard to admit there's a problem, but as many people say, that's always the first step and it really does help to finally admit to it.

But the good part of this is that she had indeed noticed your change and just seems like she's not even sure how to handle it. As your guardian, she's not only being your sister but also your mother and father- not exactly an easy thing to do, as you probably already knew. Since I'm not sure how much older she is than you, I'm not sure exactly how to help you there to help you understand her side. But I'm hoping that this much does help anyway.

As a sister, she's doing the talking for you and putting aside your actual problem (my sis used to do the same and even accused me of faking an illness several times as we grew up). But it also seems as her motherly side does indeed see the problem and wants to help- she just isn't sure how to.

So just try to talk to her about it and see what you both can do to help make you feel better. Give her a helping hand to help her realize just how much you need her right now.

lilykristen Posted at 1:29 pm on Aug. 26, 2008
I wouldn't go as far as hate, but I might be pretty ticked off at her.
princess timz Posted at 1:27 pm on Aug. 26, 2008
I don't think that's any grounds to hate someone.  If you don't tell someone something is wrong, they aren't going to know.  If you sit there and hope someone will notice, then it'll only make you worse when you realize that they don't.

People don't mind read, and they don't know what's going on.  If you don't tell them, then you can't expect them to know, and you can't expect them to respond properly.  Your doctor was dealing with you, and you could have outright mentioned what you felt was the case.

And while that's never easy (I have the same problem) I don't think you can hate someone for not knowing or understanding you.  It's very typical of teenagers to go through these stages (and many teenagers do experience depression), so unless you state otherwise, how do you expect anyone to know?

SpM Posted at 1:26 pm on Aug. 26, 2008
You need to stop waiting for her to ask and just talk to her.
wathupdawg Posted at 1:26 pm on Aug. 26, 2008
no you don't, shes looking out for you which is what your sister & guardian should be doing, so stop being moody and takin things out on her and give her some credit!
Catzcore Posted at 1:26 pm on Aug. 26, 2008
yeah you do because shes pretending you dont have a problem.
exactly what my parents did/do when i dont eat. they dont understand how im feeling and dont even bother to ask me why i cant actually make myself eat. they just say its somethin to do with school i wont tell them. they just gues.. Ugh.
Striptease Posted at 1:24 pm on Aug. 26, 2008
Well it does sound like your just being a teenager, I'm sure she does care otherwise she wouldn't have noticed your change.
Don't hate your own flesh and blood.
Anonymous Posted at 1:23 pm on Aug. 26, 2008
My older sister has been my guardian for almost 6 years, now. We used to be really close before she became my guardian but, of course, everyone changes and I'm used to it. I've been depressed for about 3 years and at first I really wanted help. I wanted someone to know how I felt but no one noticed. I gave up on getting help and decided to keep everything to myself. My sister started noticing my "changing" last year. She started making comments about how sad I seem and how much I've distanced myself from everybody. I wanted to tell her how I felt but instead of asking me was anything wrong, she blamed all my mysterious mood swings on me being a teenager. She told me that I only have 3 more years with her as my guardian then she doesn't care anymore.
I can't stand that she doesn't know and every time she brings up the fact that I'm changing I hate her. I get these stomach pains from stress but when she took me to the doctors and he asked me was I stressed she quickly answered for me and said no I was just complaining.  
Do I have a valid reason to hate her because for some reason, I do?
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