I am NOT encouraging harm.
It's like explaining how it feels to be drunk or high to someone who never has been. You can't explain it with words.
Ok it is a bit of an assumption, I'm not going to say it isn't. This is just a generalization drawn upon but what others have told me and what I have experienced. Of course this could be different to others but when I said "And also there is the fact that obviously a cutter has no other way of dealing with their emotions which is why they cut...[/"I meant this about when they start, it being a last resort with all other methods at a loss. Again that might not be the case for everyone but it is for a lot of people I've talked to. That's ok, I do get where you're coming from. :) Yes everyone has different coping mechanisms. But that's what I mean when I said you can understand the idea and reasons behind it but not the thing itself. I still don't see how you can understand something you don't experience. You can understand that cutting to someone can be the same as you listening to music (for example). You can understand that it calms you down but not the pain and the emotions that run through a cutters head (my own experience would be a feeling of disgust, self loathing and shame for what I'm doing.) Its like saying someone who is deaf is able to understand what it's like to listen to music. How can they... They can't hear it... Can't experience it... They can understand the idea behind it (that's it's a series of sounds that evoke emotions within people) but not what it's like to hear it. I know what you're saying, and in that sense you're right. But I'm not talking about something trivial like listening to music to calm you down. When a person experiences bad emotions, emotions you and I can attach to self harm and cutting, they can use other ways of coping. I'm talking more from personal experience - I can feel a certain set of emotions and deal with it by cutting. Or I can feel a certain set of emotions and deal with it by doing something else. The act of cutting itself, imo, is just slicing my skin. The pain and every other emotion I'm feeling I can and DO feel at other times, I just choose, these days, not to cut myself. A person can obviously not relate to deliberately cutting themselves, because they've never experienced that, but they can, I honestly think, understand the emotions and motives and everything else attached to the feelings before, during and after it (aside from the actual act of cutting). I hope that makes sense? I can get a bit wordy and confusing when I'm trying to explain something. My original point is that, in general, I disagree with people saying someone else will "NEVER" understand cutting, when in a huge, huge way, I think they can (if, that is, self harm is to be understood at all, like katyduck pointed out). People CAN understand why it can "help" (as such), or what "good" it does (quoting from the OP).
Ok it is a bit of an assumption, I'm not going to say it isn't. This is just a generalization drawn upon but what others have told me and what I have experienced. Of course this could be different to others but when I said "And also there is the fact that obviously a cutter has no other way of dealing with their emotions which is why they cut...[/"I meant this about when they start, it being a last resort with all other methods at a loss. Again that might not be the case for everyone but it is for a lot of people I've talked to.
That's ok, I do get where you're coming from. :)
Yes everyone has different coping mechanisms. But that's what I mean when I said you can understand the idea and reasons behind it but not the thing itself. I still don't see how you can understand something you don't experience. You can understand that cutting to someone can be the same as you listening to music (for example). You can understand that it calms you down but not the pain and the emotions that run through a cutters head (my own experience would be a feeling of disgust, self loathing and shame for what I'm doing.) Its like saying someone who is deaf is able to understand what it's like to listen to music. How can they... They can't hear it... Can't experience it... They can understand the idea behind it (that's it's a series of sounds that evoke emotions within people) but not what it's like to hear it.
I know what you're saying, and in that sense you're right. But I'm not talking about something trivial like listening to music to calm you down. When a person experiences bad emotions, emotions you and I can attach to self harm and cutting, they can use other ways of coping. I'm talking more from personal experience - I can feel a certain set of emotions and deal with it by cutting. Or I can feel a certain set of emotions and deal with it by doing something else. The act of cutting itself, imo, is just slicing my skin. The pain and every other emotion I'm feeling I can and DO feel at other times, I just choose, these days, not to cut myself. A person can obviously not relate to deliberately cutting themselves, because they've never experienced that, but they can, I honestly think, understand the emotions and motives and everything else attached to the feelings before, during and after it (aside from the actual act of cutting). I hope that makes sense? I can get a bit wordy and confusing when I'm trying to explain something.
My original point is that, in general, I disagree with people saying someone else will "NEVER" understand cutting, when in a huge, huge way, I think they can (if, that is, self harm is to be understood at all, like katyduck pointed out). People CAN understand why it can "help" (as such), or what "good" it does (quoting from the OP).
Don't worry i got what you mean Its funny the more i read the more i think that we are saying the around the same thing but with a different conclusion.
Nah i agree that someone can experience the emotions that would let to it but i guess I'm talking more about the actual act itself that they will never understand.
I'm not sure how to word this next part so please bare with me. I hope it makes sense, if not sorry. But in regards to "The pain and every other emotion I'm feeling I can and DO feel at other times, I just choose, these days, not to cut myself" and all those references made that you feel the same thing but choose not to cut well it could be said that since you have cut and you've experienced it that you remember those emotions and are able to apply them to something else. Again I'm not sure that this makes sense. Sorry.
But yeah i think people can relate the emotions felt that lead up to cutting. But yeah I'm more focused on the fact that they will not know what it feels like to cut in the literal sense. I guess it really depends on how you interperate the statement/ opinion of missmadejavu.
Quote: from i love foamy at 1:35 pm on Sep. 14, 2008 There are also the emotions that come with actually doing it. They are things that only a cutter could understand. Only a cutter would understand the feeling of cutting and why they continue to do it. And also there is the fact that obviously a cutter has no other way of dealing with their emotions which is why they cut... that too is something that a non cutter cant understand. Because technically they have been able to deal with it so they have never experienced the need, feeling, emotion, what ever you want to call it, that makes a cutter cut. First bit in bold - total assumption. I had and used other ways of coping, self harming was just one of them. And then it got to the point where it wasn't me coping anymore, it was just something I done. I could cope without it, I just didn't want to. So just wanted to point out that we can't just assume things about self harm when it's completely different for everyone who experiences it. In general, I disagree. I mean, we all have coping mechanisms. We all have things that we need to do in order to calm us down, make us feel better, clear things up, etc. We all do, so we can all understand it (coping mechanisms, that is). Depending on something to help us get through is something most people, if not all people, experience. I self harmed for I don't even know how many years and, during those years, I didn't experience any emotions or feelings or felt only by those who self harm. I felt/feel shitty, depressed, disgusting, etc. Just like people who don't self harm can.
There are also the emotions that come with actually doing it. They are things that only a cutter could understand. Only a cutter would understand the feeling of cutting and why they continue to do it. And also there is the fact that obviously a cutter has no other way of dealing with their emotions which is why they cut... that too is something that a non cutter cant understand. Because technically they have been able to deal with it so they have never experienced the need, feeling, emotion, what ever you want to call it, that makes a cutter cut.
First bit in bold - total assumption. I had and used other ways of coping, self harming was just one of them. And then it got to the point where it wasn't me coping anymore, it was just something I done. I could cope without it, I just didn't want to. So just wanted to point out that we can't just assume things about self harm when it's completely different for everyone who experiences it.
In general, I disagree. I mean, we all have coping mechanisms. We all have things that we need to do in order to calm us down, make us feel better, clear things up, etc. We all do, so we can all understand it (coping mechanisms, that is). Depending on something to help us get through is something most people, if not all people, experience. I self harmed for I don't even know how many years and, during those years, I didn't experience any emotions or feelings or felt only by those who self harm. I felt/feel shitty, depressed, disgusting, etc. Just like people who don't self harm can.
Quote: from amiee at 7:45 pm on Sep. 13, 2008
I disagree. Just because someone doesn't self harm, doesn't mean they're incapable of either feeling or relating to the emotions a person feels that lead so self harm. They just chose to deal with it in a different way. And, for those who haven't been in a place where they feel shitty emotions, they can still understand self harming. Read Just Waiting Here's post.
Whilst some of what you say is true there is still more to it. True people can feel the emotions that lead to self harm but that's only part of it. There are also the emotions that come with actually doing it. They are things that only a cutter could understand. Only a cutter would understand the feeling of cutting and why they continue to do it. And also there is the fact that obviously a cutter has no other way of dealing with their emotions which is why they cut... that too is something that a non cutter cant understand. Because technically they have been able to deal with it so they have never experienced the need, feeling, emotion, what ever you want to call it, that makes a cutter cut.
You can understand the idea behind it but I don't see how you can understand what you haven't experience... How can you understand the emotions if you've never had them? Again you can understand the reasons and idea but not the thing itself.
But then again thats just my opinion.
378 users online 
222897 members 109 active today Advertise Here
378 users online 222897 members 109 active today Advertise Here
You have 1 new message.
