Adding Reply Archived Topic: It will not be bumped to the top of the forum. Topic I hate.. Membername   Not a member? Sign Up Free (takes 20 seconds) Password   Forgotten your password? Post Font: Verdana Arial Black Georgia Comic Sans Impact   Size: Tiny Normal Big Huge   Color: Default Dark Red Red Orange Brown Green Olive Cyan Blue Dark Blue Indigo Black [ Check Spelling ] [ Post Preview ] [ LiveTags ] FAQ Keyword Search: Post Options Favorites Manager Notify me of new replies to this topic by email Notify me of new replies to this topic by private message Original Post Anonymous Posted at 1:01 am on Nov. 18, 2008 When they blame my pain and my outbursts on attention seeking. Damn right I want attention. Attention because it hurts. Because I can't get the pain to stop. I scream and throw tantrums because nobody will listen to me when I stay calm. I hid behind my fake smiles for 5 years. I'm tired of faking my happiness for the benefit of others, and now that I really want help nobody will give it to me. I don't know how to deal with it all. I can hardly move without pain coursing through my body. When it all happens so fast what can you do but scream? It starts with a thought, something so innocent as a memory. It sparks a wave of pain. The wave crashes through my throat causing the blood curdling screams. Then my chest, and then my knees making me collapse. They roll their eyes. I can't help it. I can't make it stop. If I could I would. How do I make them believe the pain? Even now with this whiny post, I can't stand up for myself. Anonymous. How pathetic. I can't even stand behind my words. I'm stuck in this hell hole because I have neither the courage to get true help, nor end my life and the suffering. I'm destined to wither away until the pain finally kills me or pushes me over the edge. I'd ask for help, but just being able to say this somewhere is all that I can ask for.

Replies LaPetite Posted at 1:51 am on Nov. 18, 2008 Quite obviously you're suffering. I think you would agree on that. So you have to do something to make it better (and suicide is really soo pathetic and no solution, so I won't discuss it further). There are people to help other people with their pain, they are called doctors. But - as you said yourself - your pain comes from memories and thoughts, not from bodily harm. So the doctor you should turn to is called "psychologist" - or shrink, as you put it. If your family members want you to go there, that doesn't mean they hate you or think you are totally crazy. They want to help you and that IS the best way to help you. So if you really want your pain to go away, you should do something about it besides complaining. --> Go make a therapy! (And don't go because everybody else wants you to, but because you want it yourself because you want to feel better!) If you don't, I can't do anything but think that you don't want to get rid of the pain. Sorry, then nobody can help you. And as for acceptance... You want people to help you without sending you to a "shrink". But how can you help someone that is complaining on and on, but doesn't really want to do anything about the pain? Right - you can't. So therapy comes first, then you'll be able to have a socially "normal" life. And don't think I don't believe you're in pain. That pain must be horribly and I'm really sorry you have to feel it. Sobody should have to. But on the other hand I EXPECT YOU TO DO SOMETHING TO MAKE IT BETTER! jamesjtr Posted at 1:37 am on Nov. 18, 2008 I understand what it's like, my sister does it loads. Its not your fault. Im sorry u have it wish i cud help   rawrr Posted at 1:33 am on Nov. 18, 2008 Post from this position was omitted due to content violations Anonymous Posted at 1:13 am on Nov. 18, 2008 Quote: from lostwitness at 1:05 am on Nov. 18, 2008 Exactly. Attention seeking is simply a symptom of underlying pain. I am sorry that you are in such pain, must be really hard. Now lets be specific... what is troubling you? My "friends" abandoned me after I got kicked out of school and my family is rejecting me for being myself. Apparently they don't want anything to do with me unless I allow them to turn me into the perfect Daughter/Granddaughter/Niece. They want me to go to a shrink because of the dreams I have. I wake up screaming and thrashing at night from the nightmares. They think I'm mentally unstable. Not to mention they've tried to blame "whatever is wrong with me" on every mental health disease available. Though one of them is bound to be right. So many people have spent time trying to convince me I was crazy, it was only a matter of time before I started to believe it too. I just want somebody to accept me for me, not the act I put on to please people. rawrr Posted at 1:08 am on Nov. 18, 2008 Post from this position was omitted due to content violations lostwitness Posted at 1:05 am on Nov. 18, 2008 Exactly. Attention seeking is simply a symptom of underlying pain. I am sorry that you are in such pain, must be really hard. Now lets be specific... what is troubling you? All 6 previous replies displayed.