In such a situation, I'd search for help and control of the desires within me. There are a lot of excellent techniques developed over the span of human existence that could teach you ways to come to understand why you feel this way, how to deal with it and to an extent to live normally. The most important thing, though, is to not give into those desires. Values, dignity and pride are conceptual perspectives depending on your nature, culture and upbringing and thus can be rebuild. However, if you do give into that bloodlust or any other kind of destructive negativity, you'll find yourself going down a very long downward spiral in which you'll end up far worse than you could imagine. Hence, I recommend you look into the techniques and philosophy behind and around meditation, buddhism and pacifism, to mention a few.
The most important thing, though, is to not give into those desires. Values, dignity and pride are conceptual perspectives depending on your nature, culture and upbringing and thus can be rebuild. However, if you do give into that bloodlust or any other kind of destructive negativity, you'll find yourself going down a very long downward spiral in which you'll end up far worse than you could imagine.
Hence, I recommend you look into the techniques and philosophy behind and around meditation, buddhism and pacifism, to mention a few.