so: i am going out with this guy, it's been what two months and i really like him first of all, although i was never in love i know that, and he was sort of, which is very bad, a rebound i guess. but then i started to like him less and less. i'm always attracted to arseholes basically, like my ex who is a cheater but says he loves me.. so my ex i had been going out with on and off for nearly two years and i really was (well still am) in love with him. and he went out with his girl bestfriend so i had to stay clear and so i went out with my current bf.
so we haven't talked in ages (me and my ex) and now it's the summer hols, since like 2 weeks ago. and i started talking to my ex again. and on monday, we met up and went to the park and it was raining and it was so beautiful... and well you can guess we made out. and then went to bed to proper make out... and today he came over again and we nearly had sex but i didn't do it cos that really would be the most awful thing i could do.

i feel so bad more for his girlfriend, because i know she's in love with him and i think he loves her although he says he doesn't.
and i don't like my bf anymore but i think he likes me but was more expectant i think (he knows what i did with  my ex) and i didn't do shit with him cos i didn't really like him but thought it was just a bump and i would get over it.
my bf is away.

so what should i do?
i feel like shit. like a   f u c k i n g     h o e.