Adding Reply Archived Topic: It will not be bumped to the top of the forum. Topic please help me Membername   Not a member? Sign Up Free (takes 20 seconds) Password   Forgotten your password? Post Font: Verdana Arial Black Georgia Comic Sans Impact   Size: Tiny Normal Big Huge   Color: Default Dark Red Red Orange Brown Green Olive Cyan Blue Dark Blue Indigo Black [ Check Spelling ] [ Post Preview ] [ LiveTags ] FAQ Keyword Search: Post Options Favorites Manager Notify me of new replies to this topic by email Notify me of new replies to this topic by private message Original Post louise123 Posted at 2:45 am on Oct. 16, 2006 I got married in april (im 20) and im still at university.  Even tho i love my husband to pieces i feel it was a big mistake.  I have been miserable ever since.  Not with him, but with our situation.  Im sitting here crying as i write this.  I cant cope with being an adult i thot i was ready and im not. We are living with my granda and reall yneed a place of our own.  That was bad enough until this weekend.  We used all our savings which was £4000 for a 2nd hand car and he becamse a private taxi driver.  He drove it once and it almost blew up, the seller phoned us and told us not to drive it as it was extremely dangerous.  He will not fix it or give us our money back.  Now my husband has no job because of this and we have no car or no savings.  I cant cope.  I just keep thinking if i hadnt moved out and got married so young this would nver have happened.  The one thing i dreaded most was not having any financial stability has now happened.  This is such a mess and i dont know how to deal with it. My granda offered to lend us more money to get a new car so he can keep workng.  I def dont want to take it as i dont think getting into more debt is the answer.  Now my husband is mad at me coz he thinks it is the only way and i feel like im stopping things.. I have uni in two hours and have to do a presentation which i havnt even started.  I was working on it fine until my husband foned and started ranting about money blah blah blah now im just crying and i cant work i just cant cope please help me.  I was always happy and had everything going for me before i got married and i feel this marriage has dragged me down.  Thn i feel guilty for thinking that as i do love my husband

Replies louise123 Posted at 5:52 am on Oct. 17, 2006 Thanks for all th advice, im feelin lots better today and am trying not to let it get on top of me any more. W are taking him to the small claims court so hopefully will get the money back. dunebug Posted at 11:44 am on Oct. 16, 2006 Honestly hun, I would take the money that your family is offering you. Remember, it's not a gift. It's a loan. You'll have to pay it back. But it is a chance to get on your feet. You really need to suck up your pride and use the hand that's being offered to you. Because it doesn't sound like you're going to fix this financial problem on your own -- since neither of you sound like you have any income at all pretty much. And from the sounds of it, the money is what you fight over most and what stresses you both out the most. So you can continue to fight and try and do it on your own, which hasn't worked out yet and won't probably work out for a while and your relationship will continue to deteriorate from the stress. Or. You can suck it up, realize you need help, you can't do it on your own, take the help being offered to you while it's still possible to fix your relationship and get out of the slump. And get back on your feet. And then pay back every penny of the money and get her some flowers to boot and thank her for saving you. And maybe in 5 or 6 months things will be 10x better and it will because of that. Or you can just get divorced and move on. Longy56 Posted at 7:47 am on Oct. 16, 2006 This car seller sounds very fishy...I know in the US you can report a used car seller if they sell a car that isn't up to standards. As for your situation, man thats a tough one.  I think the one thing which is helping you is your family.  I'm happy that you have a place to stay, and its also hard to ask for help or admitt you need help.  The only advice I have to stay is build from this point.  You can't dispair about what has already happened, but move on.  I know it sounds cruel and sometimes you may have a breakdown and thats fine, but don't let it control your life.  Also I don't know what you are in college, I'm assuming a sophmore or junior.  Either way I would continue my studies if its not too financially taxing, or take off a year and work.  If you need any reasurance or even just a person to vent to you can always message me. yellowflowers Posted at 4:57 am on Oct. 16, 2006 talk to your family about it =] also i think you should do something about that seller, because he has no right to do that. VirtusInternus Posted at 3:43 am on Oct. 16, 2006 ignore that idiot louise123 Posted at 3:37 am on Oct. 16, 2006 huh? 50cent Posted at 3:36 am on Oct. 16, 2006 you are so sexy.llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll 50cent Posted at 3:35 am on Oct. 16, 2006 you are so sexy. 50cent Posted at 3:35 am on Oct. 16, 2006 you can give. louise123 Posted at 3:12 am on Oct. 16, 2006 Thanks.  I have done some redearch and the only thing really is if the car is not as it was advertised. Aparantly private sellers are not to blame for faults.  However it may be different as it wasnt just a fault but anunroadworthy car.  My husband is away to citizens advice at the minute, so hopefully they will have something positive to say.  Thanks for all your replys. MoonlitEden Posted at 3:03 am on Oct. 16, 2006 In the US we have a lemon law to specifically protect people in a situation like yours. http://www.lemonlawamerica.com/" target="_top">http://http://www.lemonlawamerica.com/ Do you know if there is anything like this in the UK?  If so, take him to court.   Rastafarian Posted at 2:58 am on Oct. 16, 2006 Quote: from punkrockrules at 2:54 am on Oct. 16, 2006 Quote: from VirtusInternus at 2:49 am on Oct. 16, 2006 tough situation. You need to ask yourself deep down if you really love him and want to be with him thru the bad and the good. I have heard plenty of fairytale stories of couples who had it rough early on and went on to have a great marriage and successful life.    You could be stressed now with uni so I would wait until you are more relaxed to think things through and maybe you should take advice from some1 else as well.    Also talk to your husband and try to tell him how you feel.    Good luk   good idea this is a good idea do what vitusinternus says its a pritty good idea. you like saying good idea don't you? You said it 3 times in a rather badly constructed sentence punkrockrules Posted at 2:54 am on Oct. 16, 2006 Quote: from VirtusInternus at 2:49 am on Oct. 16, 2006 tough situation. You need to ask yourself deep down if you really love him and want to be with him thru the bad and the good. I have heard plenty of fairytale stories of couples who had it rough early on and went on to have a great marriage and successful life. You could be stressed now with uni so I would wait until you are more relaxed to think things through and maybe you should take advice from some1 else as well. Also talk to your husband and try to tell him how you feel. Good luk good idea this is a good idea do what vitusinternus says its a pritty good idea. VirtusInternus Posted at 2:49 am on Oct. 16, 2006 tough situation. You need to ask yourself deep down if you really love him and want to be with him thru the bad and the good. I have heard plenty of fairytale stories of couples who had it rough early on and went on to have a great marriage and successful life. You could be stressed now with uni so I would wait until you are more relaxed to think things through and maybe you should take advice from some1 else as well. Also talk to your husband and try to tell him how you feel. Good luk Rastafarian Posted at 2:48 am on Oct. 16, 2006 I would take the seller to court over that actually.... he may be a little more leniant if you threaten him a bit cuz he did sell you a piece of junk without you knowing it. Most recent 15 of 15 previous replies displayed.