Let the venting begin: I began living with a new roomie in July of 2006. Shortly after living together I began to dislike her. Im pretty sure its partly because I was depressed and was suffering from low self esteem. She is 2 years younger than me, 19. At first i was taking on the motherly role but she said i neednt do that, that most of her friends were my age anyway. She is a high achiever, good job, good in school, bad choice in guys. While going through my rough times my parents afforded me the chance to quit my crappy serving job and just focus on school, which im sure she thinks is a sign of laziness and weakness. I tired to move out and replace myself, she accused me of not being an adult and upholding my end of the lease, this was October 06, Im still here, and things cleared up after a couple of weeks.
Anyways, there are a lot of qualities i do admire in her but some i cannot stand. Im sure she must feel the same. The first few months i had my many moods. She moved to this town not knowing a lot of people, while i knew everyone who lives around here! I tried introducing her to my brother's friends and then to my friends. She was very outgoing and quick to jump at new friends. I felt threatened by this for some reason. She even talks to some of them on the phone! Even new people i meet she has to try to get to know them too(sometimes behind my back)! She adds all my friends on myspace and i think why do i care??!?! Why am i competing with this chick. I am looking for a new job and applied at this resturant and she's all i think i am going to apply there too!!! I know imitation is the best form of flatery so why is this sooo frustrating to me?!?! She has a very strong personality and is kinda opinionated, so its hard to talk to her about things without it back firing. She recently asked me why she has no friends or has lost the ones she used to have, and all i want to say is man i am counting the days till i move out so i dont have to pretend to be your friend too!!!
Why do i feel this way?!! She is a good person and so am I, so why cant we just co-exist peacefully? Am I wrong to be feeling all this bitterness? I act nice to her, but find myself constantly venting to my boyfriend and friends about her? Am I jealous? Do I see the person I used to be in her and secretly miss it? HELP I dont know what to do with myself!!!! Any advice on how to get through the next 4 months on our lease and part ways peacefully???? Thanks for reading all this I really appreciate it!!!
Your parents offered you a CHANCE. The adult thing would be to leap at the opportunity.
Althoguh if she was new to the area i'm sure she's accustomed herself to it by now, but she was of course going to meet people and get on with them,
Maybe you do feel threatened but it is only natural. Imatation is not flattery. I know if my friend applied to the same job as i was applying i would be like a demon!
Room mates do tend to get on each others nerves alot and sharing the place your staying at 24/7 cant help either especially if you want to get away from her.
Get some time alone to your self.
Let her know that while you think of her as a close friend(...) you do deserve some space.
Even if it means applying for a different job without her knowing and thus working in different places.
Concentrate on weekends away with your boyfriend or go home and see the family. While still attending college and seeing her at weekdays.
It'll take time but i hope it works out for you, be strong.
Keira.
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