Adding Reply Archived Topic: It will not be bumped to the top of the forum. Topic How to save it Membername   Not a member? Sign Up Free (takes 20 seconds) Password   Forgotten your password? Post Font: Verdana Arial Black Georgia Comic Sans Impact   Size: Tiny Normal Big Huge   Color: Default Dark Red Red Orange Brown Green Olive Cyan Blue Dark Blue Indigo Black [ Check Spelling ] [ Post Preview ] [ LiveTags ] FAQ Keyword Search: Post Options Favorites Manager Notify me of new replies to this topic by email Notify me of new replies to this topic by private message Original Post buddripz Posted at 6:30 am on July 17, 2008 Hi, I will try to make this as quick as possible and would really apreciate some advice! My gf and I have been together for a 2.5 years now.  We are going to be senior in college and started dating mid freshman year.   To make it simple- freshman and sophomore year with her were just great.  We were the best of friends. Simple.  Lst year, I went abroad for 10 months to study. It was something I had to do, and although she didn't want me to go, she knew I needed to do this for myself. I saw her twice during those 10 months, both times we had fun like the "good 'ol days."  However, during the course of the year, we naturally grew a little apart, became more independent etc... which is a good thing.  We did have a lot of disagreements and fought a lot, but at the end of the day, I loved her very much and knew that this was all just the result of us missing each other.   Since I have been home, I have seen her just a few weekends.  Things just have not been the same.  I still feel the same about her, but she has been very much indifferent towards me.  We have talked about it and she admits to feeling that things have changed.  Without going too much further, I have been trying for the past few weeks to prove to her that I still love her just like I used to and there is no reason things shouldn't just go back to how they were.  I will see her one more time this summer and will then not see her until we go back to school. She says we need to talk to 'figure things out' in person.  This has me very worried that she is going to just break up with me and not give us the proper time this deserves.  I mean after all, 10 months is a long time to be apart and that wont be just fixed in a handful of weekends.  I just want us to get through the summer and then go back to school where things have always been comfortable and go from there. I just don't know how else to approach this.  I send her emails and txts throughout the day, many of which either go unanswered or get a very generic reply.  Things have changed and it just makes me so sad to know I am so unable to fix this. Any suggestions?  Anyone else been in a similar situation?

Replies twilightdancer Posted at 2:26 pm on July 18, 2008 I don't think you necessarily need to worry too much. If your girlfriend wants to talk to you in person, if anything it just means she cares, in my opinion.  I personally refuse to talk about important things other than in person, because I need to be able to see the other person's reactions rather than just hear them.  If I were her I would do the exact same thing, and I would just want to talk it through with you and try to work it out. Just my thoughts. branflakes Posted at 8:20 pm on July 17, 2008 fuck, i just had another realization why are you trying to "fix" things? your girlfriend is the one that's changed, not you. you shouldn't feel obligated to fix the relationship. if things aren't working out or she's acting indifferent, leave. there are women that will give you much more in a relationship. i know you've been together awhile but this 10 months apart has definitely made things nearly unfixable i think. it's probably best to be a man and just move on. EmilyAnn Posted at 5:32 pm on July 17, 2008 She learned how to live without you, and now she's just used to that. It's understandable that you guys grew apart, but it's hard to tell if it can be repaired. Perhaps during this time she realized that she would rather be single. Do you think it's possible she had a fling with another guy? It must've given her a lot of time to think about things and wonder if she prefers being without you. As horrible as that sounds, it sounds probable that she has moved on. Her quiet behavior and how she said you guys need to "figure things out" doesn't sound too great. If I had to guess, I would assume that she's planning on breaking up with you. So I guess your option to that would be to fight for her, if you really love her. Good luck however things work out, and don't beat yourself up if things don't work out. Studying abroad was a good decision and if you don't end up with her then it just wasn't meant to be. You needed to do your thing. QisQ Posted at 4:25 pm on July 17, 2008 Quote: from branflakes at 12:10 pm on July 17, 2008 first of all, stop being so damn desperate. why are you sending her text messages throughout the day if she doesn't respond? this is clingy behavior, which is very unattractive to women, whether you've been dating for a week or you're married. like she rockz said, bring back the excitement. be unpredictable and flirty. it might not work but don't be unsure of yourself. just jump back in like everything's normal and she'll follow your lead. I agree w/him. Stop acting all desperate. And stop trying to win her back, she knows thats what your trying to do. Somehow yall cooled off during that 10 month break. I say fall back for a few days or a week and when you do see her this one more time in the summer, make sure to do something creative. Bring back that swag. Act as if you dont NEED her, be cool, just enjoy yourself. Dont go all begging, stop that. branflakes Posted at 9:10 am on July 17, 2008 first of all, stop being so damn desperate. why are you sending her text messages throughout the day if she doesn't respond? this is clingy behavior, which is very unattractive to women, whether you've been dating for a week or you're married. like she rockz said, bring back the excitement. be unpredictable and flirty. it might not work but don't be unsure of yourself. just jump back in like everything's normal and she'll follow your lead. she rockz Posted at 7:03 am on July 17, 2008 maybe she got used to it, you not being there for 10 months, (to think that's quite a long time and you're only seeing each other for twice) maybe she's moved on. I don't know but sometimes feelings dissipate if it takes a long period of time without hearing from the other person, it has always been an initial reaction. Well, if you really love her, make it up to her, start dating him and see her in person, surprise her, just do anything. abbiie Posted at 6:39 am on July 17, 2008 erm go talk to her about it, tell her you still love her and dont want to break up and can you try and work things out IceTeaEdwin Posted at 6:33 am on July 17, 2008 Ok...she learned to cope without you...she no longer "needs" you...if you give her a  reason to need you again or some how re-awaken the "passion" *lol..."_"* you should be able to save it. Kate Is Mistaken Posted at 6:32 am on July 17, 2008 Maybe you're not right for each other, otherwise it would have been pretty much the same way it was before you left. All 9 previous replies displayed.