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Original Post
Illusions Posted at 2:22 pm on June 25, 2008
Suddenly light enveloped her as she was taken out of the darkness and into a world of color, a world of feelings, of blaring TVs and warm blankets. She felt herself start to cry, filling her lungs with her first breath of air.
"Her name is Michelle."
The doctor handed the completed birth certificate to the father. In her arms, the mother held her first daughter.
The warmth around her was confusing but comforting as she lay exhausted in her mother's arms.


---


Suddenly the light enveloped her as she zoomed through the darkened tunnel. She flew into the water with a splash. She stood up and brushed the water off the swim suit she had gotten at her best friend's Sweet 16.
"Come on, we're going to go ride that one."
Her cousin gestured to the tallest slide in the park.
The height was dizzying, but she followed her cousin and her cousin's two friends until they reached the top of the water slide. There were two identical slides to keep the line moving.
Her cousin and a friend went down first, racing against each other, gaining speed as the water pushed them farther down.
"Ready?"
"Just give me a second."
She was having second thoughts.
"I—don't think I can go. I hate heights."
"It's fine; take your time."
"I think I'm ready. How do I do it?"
"Just lay your raft down like this, and kind of hop on."
She looked beside her to see her cousin's friend waiting.
"Go ahead whenever you're ready."
With either a burst of bravery or a hint of madness, she closed her eyes and leapt.
She felt the walls beside her as she sped past them. She was going so quickly she could no longer hear any of the sounds around her and could hardly focus on what was around her. But she knew the bottom must be coming. Any second. Then there it was, the familiar splash of water around her as she sped across the pool, slowing near the edge, smiling to herself.

---


Suddenly the light engulfed her. She swerved towards the side of the road and heard just metal upon metal as the right side of her car was crushed inward.


The doctor picked up her chart. Fifteen months after the accident and no increase of brain movement. He walked towards the life support machine where her family was standing. Picking up a damp washcloth, he put it on her forehead, though he knew she couldn't feel it.
She stood up and brushed the water off the swim suit she had gotten at her best friend's Sweet 16.
"Come on, we're going to go ride that one."

"Have you finished the paperwork, Mr. Williams?"
"Yes, I- I think it's done," he said, holding back tears to comfort his already sobbing wife.
The height was dizzying, but she followed her cousin and her cousin's two friends until they reached the top of the water slide.
The doctor removed the IV tube as the mother burst out in sobs and reached for her daughter's hand.
"Ready?"
"Just give me a second."
She was having second thoughts.
"I—don't think I can go. I hate heights."
"It's fine; take your time."
"I think I'm ready. How do I do it?"
"Just lay your raft down like this, and kind of hop on."
She looked beside her to see her cousin's friend waiting.
"Go ahead whenever you're ready."
She looked up at his patient face and, with either a burst of bravery or a hint of madness, she closed her eyes and leapt.
The doctor checked for a heartbeat. It was gone, with only the blank tone of silence left.
She felt the walls beside her as she sped past them. She was going so quickly she could no longer hear any of the sounds around her and could hardly focus on what was around her. But she knew the bottom must be coming. Any second. Then there it was-

----------------------------------------
This is just a rough draft; it's not perfect. I'm going to try to fix it up a little later.

Replies
save the world Posted at 4:37 am on June 26, 2008
Interesting enough. I liked the interwoven part best.
Illusions Posted at 2:30 pm on June 25, 2008
Haha, thanks.

It's pretty much her birth, then a day that meant a lot to her, then alternating between her world in a coma and the doctor getting ready to unplug it.


And, in comas, you're kind of always zoned out.

dying inside Posted at 2:28 pm on June 25, 2008
Intriguing....
coasterqueen13 Posted at 2:28 pm on June 25, 2008
I don't understand why she randomly zoned out and started thinking about a waterslide..
mcrfool Posted at 2:26 pm on June 25, 2008
It's interesting but I don't know what's going on. But it sounds cool.
Illusions Posted at 2:25 pm on June 25, 2008
Post from this position was omitted due to content violations
BabyGirl999 Posted at 2:24 pm on June 25, 2008
Post from this position was omitted due to content violations
Illusions Posted at 2:24 pm on June 25, 2008
I was kind of afraid people wouldn't read the whole thing due to its length. =/
piertangent Posted at 2:23 pm on June 25, 2008
The blank tone of silence: the only line I read.
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