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Feminawesome
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Posted at 6:38 pm on Nov. 5, 2008 |
Quote: from carracer at 6:14 pm on Nov. 5, 2008
Quote: from Feminawesome at 6:12 pm on Nov. 5, 2008
It's all right, but a little too drifty and it doesn't seem to have a whole lot of unique meaning.
Would you mind elaborating? It may be drifty, but a philosophical poem should be. I'm not sure what you mean by unique meaning. 
If you're trying to make it philosophical, that's not coming through right now. Seems more like a mood-based escapist poem. =) As for unique meaning... poems need to have something juicy to dig into. The only meanings below the surface of this poem are, as far as I can see, pretty cliché. That's not to say it's not a good poem, because it is, but you could add to it a lot by experimenting more with original concepts. |
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cherrys77
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Posted at 6:19 pm on Nov. 5, 2008 |
Organize it better, otherwise not bad. |
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carracer
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Posted at 6:14 pm on Nov. 5, 2008 |
Quote: from Feminawesome at 6:12 pm on Nov. 5, 2008
It's all right, but a little too drifty and it doesn't seem to have a whole lot of unique meaning.
Would you mind elaborating? It may be drifty, but a philosophical poem should be. I'm not sure what you mean by unique meaning. |
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Feminawesome
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Posted at 6:12 pm on Nov. 5, 2008 |
| It's all right, but a little too drifty and it doesn't seem to have a whole lot of unique meaning. |
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rawr41507
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Posted at 6:11 pm on Nov. 5, 2008 |
| i like itt =] |
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carracer
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Posted at 6:10 pm on Nov. 5, 2008 |
Quote: from Joke at 6:08 pm on Nov. 5, 2008
a little emo, and too deep for me, but good i think?
Emo?!? How is that emo at all? |
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Kgarrett
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Posted at 6:10 pm on Nov. 5, 2008 |
| A little emo but it is good |
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Joke
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Posted at 6:08 pm on Nov. 5, 2008 |
| a little emo, and too deep for me, but good i think? |
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All 8 previous replies displayed. |