Adding Reply Archived Topic: It will not be bumped to the top of the forum. Topic Living Without You (poem) Membername   Not a member? Sign Up Free (takes 20 seconds) Password   Forgotten your password? Post Font: Verdana Arial Black Georgia Comic Sans Impact   Size: Tiny Normal Big Huge   Color: Default Dark Red Red Orange Brown Green Olive Cyan Blue Dark Blue Indigo Black [ Check Spelling ] [ Post Preview ] [ LiveTags ] FAQ Keyword Search: Post Options Favorites Manager Notify me of new replies to this topic by email Notify me of new replies to this topic by private message Original Post Mikayla007 Posted at 3:42 pm on Dec. 29, 2008 Living Without You I remember that day... The day you went away There was nothing much to say Nothing I could do, I'm doomed to living without you You made it painfully clear Your actions were like lighting striking me A shock pain coursing though me Tears shot, welling up in my eyes Everything you said was nothing but lies You have taken everything I cannot even cry I wish somehow you wanted me like I wanted you I wish my words would had ever gotten through to you Sometimes I dream I never met you Why would you? How could you? Do you love me to? Will you miss me to? Can I live without you?

Replies J U S T Posted at 3:49 pm on Dec. 29, 2008 Again, way too much use of the word "you" especially in lines 12-19. In line 17 & 18, you should use "too," not "to." All in all, kind of bland. It sounds just like all the other melodramatic angst-ridden teen poetry out there. Leelyy Posted at 3:46 pm on Dec. 29, 2008 :'[ AcidSilence Posted at 3:44 pm on Dec. 29, 2008 Ugh i'm going through this right now. ]: Natsy Posted at 3:43 pm on Dec. 29, 2008 Miss Vanity Posted at 3:42 pm on Dec. 29, 2008 Cute All 5 previous replies displayed.