Adding Reply Topic In less than 500 words... Membername   Not a member? Sign Up Free (takes 20 seconds) Password   Forgotten your password? Post Font: Verdana Arial Black Georgia Comic Sans Impact   Size: Tiny Normal Big Huge   Color: Default Dark Red Red Orange Brown Green Olive Cyan Blue Dark Blue Indigo Black [ Check Spelling ] [ Post Preview ] [ LiveTags ] FAQ Keyword Search: Post Options Favorites Manager Notify me of new replies to this topic by email Notify me of new replies to this topic by private message Original Post TechnoShark Posted at 1:56 pm on June 26, 2009 I had to write what I would do with my college education. This is what I wrote: "With the education I receive from college I hope to find a career I truly enjoy and a career that will keep me financially stable. I want to pursue some sort of artistic profession so that I can inspire others to use their creativity and teach them that art is a quintessential part of our world and culture. Art binds us together as human beings, enabling us to connect, communicate and have compassion for one another. Art, in whatever form, is as beautiful as the world in which we live." What do you think? I've already submitted it.

Replies BritchesAndHose Posted at 11:32 pm on June 26, 2009 that's so sweet in sane x Posted at 2:10 pm on June 26, 2009 It's good. i just think you should maybe have a closing sentence reinforcing your point of a career for the future ElephantStone Posted at 2:05 pm on June 26, 2009 The sentences are too long, so long in fact that you are desperately trying to understand what the point of the sentence is. Its all right now and will suffice. TechnoShark Posted at 2:02 pm on June 26, 2009 Quote: from JTHM at 2:02 pm on June 26, 2009 It's good, but the misplacement of commas and the spelling error in the first line distract from the point. :/ Edited. JTHM Posted at 2:02 pm on June 26, 2009 It's good, but the misplacement of commas and the spelling error in the first line distract from the point. :/ TechnoShark Posted at 2:00 pm on June 26, 2009 Quote: from ElephantStone at 1:58 pm on June 26, 2009 Anyone would think you're handicapped because of the placing of those commas. Yeah. When I speak, I pause at odd spots and so that's where I place commas when I write..... Oh well. Thanantos Posted at 1:58 pm on June 26, 2009 Wow that is good. I think i am going to go in to photography ElephantStone Posted at 1:58 pm on June 26, 2009 Anyone would think you're handicapped because of the placing of those commas. BrittBee Posted at 1:57 pm on June 26, 2009 slightly similar to part of my essay that I had to write for art school, but better. Great job! Ska Ninja Posted at 1:56 pm on June 26, 2009 I think it's awesome Chasey Posted at 1:56 pm on June 26, 2009 awesome All 11 previous replies displayed.