Adding Reply Archived Topic: It will not be bumped to the top of the forum. Topic life and everything that's come to me Membername   Not a member? Sign Up Free (takes 20 seconds) Password   Forgotten your password? Post Font: Verdana Arial Black Georgia Comic Sans Impact   Size: Tiny Normal Big Huge   Color: Default Dark Red Red Orange Brown Green Olive Cyan Blue Dark Blue Indigo Black [ Check Spelling ] [ Post Preview ] [ LiveTags ] FAQ Keyword Search: Post Options Favorites Manager Notify me of new replies to this topic by email Notify me of new replies to this topic by private message Original Post erikkk Posted at 12:51 am on Jan. 8, 2009 k well growing up as a chunky kid makes a low self esteem obviously and i have never had a girlfriend and i find it incredibly sad, i talk to girls but i find it so hard and just dont know what to FUCKING say now that ive grown up when i entered high school i was 220 lbs. and then as a sophmore 200 and now a junior and im 5'9 175 lbs. and i know that i got a chance for a girl but so many FUCKING self esteem fuck-up habbits and i can't even engage in a goood conversation with a girl, habbits such as masturbation can be very addicting for guys and i struggle with it and plus it lowers my self esteem and gives me dirty thoughts 2nd i have a marijuana addicition and i can't have a girl if all i think about is weed is fucking HARD, with my friends im a likeable guy i talk to the girls and shit but i just don't know how to get with them and i makes me feel fuckin miserable seeing all the guys at high school having the time of their lives makin out with their girl sometimes i find myself always talkin about drugs with other potheads and i just dont know what to do...

Replies Solstice Posted at 4:47 am on Jan. 8, 2009 It's all about perspective and taking control of your life. The marijuana, I see no quarrel with. I smoke because it both inspires and relaxes me. I re-read what you just wrote, and the tension, the anger and frustration you have.. that is the driving force you need to put towards your other goals in life. All this self pity will get you no where but deeper into a hole in your own mind.. Life is basically this: Your Experiences and What you learn from them. What you first have to understand is that everyone in this world, when looking at the fine print.. are ordinary human beings.. not unlike how you percieve any group of animals. Anyone one girl who you would at and be turned off by, and the woman you judge to be the most beautiful person in the world.. have the same needs, emotionally and physically.. and like basic conversation, hanging out, eating, sleeping..ect.. just like everyone else.. I mean, there are different personallity types.. but what I'm saying if you understand this.. present yourself with genuine comfortability with who you are.. you cant go wrong.. people call this "confidence".. Just a fancy label for likeing and accepting yourself for who you are.. enjoying being you.. I kind of got a little carried away.. But rest assured.. You'll be alright.. Plenty have been there.. When your past this, you'll see how unimportant it really seems.. Satine Posted at 1:56 am on Jan. 8, 2009 I does my best :P erikkk Posted at 1:53 am on Jan. 8, 2009 satine you are vereh wise Tubbz Posted at 1:50 am on Jan. 8, 2009 That's the idea, it's going to be hard to do, but go for it, anything's got to be better than wondering "what if"? Satine Posted at 1:50 am on Jan. 8, 2009 Okay, well if it's making the leap from friendship to partnership you're asking about, then I'd try this: - when you're talking to a girl, make plenty of eye contact with her (different to staring, but make sure you're regularly looking in her eyes - it's better communication and suggests you're confident). - Suggest to her that you both meet again because you enjoyed talking to her. - Give her the opportunity to speak more than listen by asking open questions. Offer a bit of information about yourself, but keep it at a ratio of about 3:1. This takes the pressure off you and leaves a feeling of mystery about you. - As for breaking the physical barrier, touch her hand or arm when you're talking to her. - Remember that there's a strong culture of 'good girls don't', which means that we feel a bit of an incentive not to have sex. However, we do still want to. If you hint at wanting to sleep with a girl and she says, 'I'm not sure', that's her saying, 'I want to but feel that it would be bad of me'. This is your cue to kiss her / whatever else is apt so that you're taking the lead. Needless to say, 'no' means no and should be honoured. You might get a yes from some uninhibited girls, but the above might be quite common. An extra tip for that is that, you could get another clue if you start to remove a girl's clothes (say, take off a scarf or undo one button on her top) and then stop. If she doesn't adjust it again for modesty then you know you can try to go a bit further. Maybe Tubbz can offer more clues, but that's about all I've got as a straight female! erikkk Posted at 1:48 am on Jan. 8, 2009 its a challenge :P but w/e Tubbz Posted at 1:46 am on Jan. 8, 2009 Even if you don't get off the drugs, just try and take a girl off somewhere on your own and go from there. Tubbz Posted at 1:42 am on Jan. 8, 2009 Even if you don't get off the drugs, just try and take a girl off somewhere on your own and go from there. erikkk Posted at 1:40 am on Jan. 8, 2009 ok tubbz thanks i got to get off de drugs i havent been able to for the past 3 years Tubbz Posted at 1:36 am on Jan. 8, 2009 Quote: from erikkk at 9:34 am on Jan. 8, 2009 yes i know what you're talking about satine about ecstasy being sociable and of course ive talked to manyyyyyy girls when im on E but never got with them and i of course can not think about sex obviously since i have never had sex to get addictted to it but my male hormones make me go crazyyy all i can do is just start at all the fine women that i see You don't have to have sex to be addicted to it. It's not something you want to get addicted to either, it can be a dangerous addiction. Just talk to a girl. Take her off somewhere and talk to her, even if you're not attracted to her. erikkk Posted at 1:36 am on Jan. 8, 2009 ok welllllllllllll thanks i guess erikkk Posted at 1:34 am on Jan. 8, 2009 yes i know what you're talking about satine about ecstasy being sociable and of course ive talked to manyyyyyy girls when im on E but never got with them and i of course can not think about sex obviously since i have never had sex to get addictted to it but my male hormones make me go crazyyy all i can do is just  start at all the fine women that i see Satine Posted at 1:31 am on Jan. 8, 2009 Sometimes the only answer is to tough it out - and I'm afraid that's the best answer for you. Believe me, you're not the first to have low self-esteem and you're not the last. The world isn't going to change to fit around your lack of confidence, so you're the one who has to work at it. I don't mean that to sound harsh, but if you want a direct comment on the situation then that's mine. Tubbz Posted at 1:30 am on Jan. 8, 2009 I understand you have low self esteem, what I'm saying is if you don't ask and fail once or twice, you'll never get over it, so grow some balls and ask a girl. erikkk Posted at 1:28 am on Jan. 8, 2009 once again you're having trouble fully understanding i have developed a fucking low self esteem and it just makes me scared and i chicken out its a difficult sitiuation for me and i'll feel more pathetic and just go do some drugs FUCK Most recent 15 of 32 previous replies displayed.