Adding Reply Archived Topic: It will not be bumped to the top of the forum. Topic My story [For anyone who wants to read] Membername   Not a member? Sign Up Free (takes 20 seconds) Password   Forgotten your password? Post Font: Verdana Arial Black Georgia Comic Sans Impact   Size: Tiny Normal Big Huge   Color: Default Dark Red Red Orange Brown Green Olive Cyan Blue Dark Blue Indigo Black [ Check Spelling ] [ Post Preview ] [ LiveTags ] FAQ Keyword Search: Post Options Favorites Manager Notify me of new replies to this topic by email Notify me of new replies to this topic by private message Original Post Jman19 Posted at 11:51 pm on Oct. 4, 2008 I thought I'd post this for anyone looking for hope, or just something to read. There is always hope.   -- November 5 2007, Guy Fawke's Day. The plan was to meet my girlfriend so that we could go to a fireworks show, something we'd both been looking forward to. I didn't make it. It was raining, and I was in a hurry. I had to meet her in less than 10 minutes, and didn't want to confirm my reputation for being late, so being 18, male and stupid, I sped. Wrong decision. I misjudged a corner turn and lost all control. I don't remember much else about that day from then on, but I do remember theI car flipping a couple of times and thinking I was going to die before I blacked out. Apparently I had to be cut out of the car. I'm not sure how long it was before someone called for help, and I'm glad I don't. The next thing I clearly remember was waking up in a hospital bed about a week later, surrounded by machines. My mum was sitting worriedly by my bed. I asked her what was wrong. She said, "Well Jay, you're going to hear this from doctors anyway, so I may as well tell you. You broke your neck." I then naively asked her when I'd be able to leave, and when I'd be able to play rugby again, to which she replied "I think you'll be here for a long time yet. As for rugby, I'm not sure you'll ever be able to play again. You're paralysed, Jay." Paralysed? What did she mean? I soon found out that my chances of even walking again were slim. I would spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair. It was really difficult for me coming to terms with that, and in some ways, I still don't want to believe it. How could I spend the rest of my life as a cripple? I was one of the most active guys I knew. I spent Christmas, New Year, and my birthday in February in hospital, and I hated it. While all my friends were out partying, I was stuck trying to learn to adjust to life in a wheelchair. It wasn't fair, but I continued to make good progress in hope I'd soon be home. Five months after the accident, I was finally free to go home. It was great to be out of the hospital, but I soon found that life was anything but easy. I had to learn how to push myself in the wheelchair, which gave me blisters and callouses on my hands, as well as learning how to toilet, shower, and dress myself. Toileting is probably the worst thing about having a spinal cord injury. I won't go into too much detail, but I have little control over my bladder or bowel, and so use a catheter and bag. Not fun! I have no feeling from about my bellybutton down. I get pins and needles in my hands and fingers often, and as a result of the accident, no longer sweat, which means I have to be really careful not to overheat in hot weather. A couple of months ago, I managed  to be independent enough to move into a place with a friend. Life continues to be challenging, but the most important thing to me is being independent. I'm learning to drive again with the help of hand controls. At first I was pretty reluctant, but am a careful driver now. I do most of what I did before I was in a chair. I hang out with friends, drink, party, go to the gym, typical things every nineteen year old does. I no longer play sport of course, and am a permanent fixture on the sideline, which is probably what I miss the most. Overall, I try not to focus too much on the negatives, and continue to look ahead to the future. I can't take it back, so I may as well not dwell on the past. That's not to say I don't get depressed, I'm the first to admit that I have plenty of down days. If anything, my injury has given me a completely new perspective on life and an admiration for those much worse off. That, in my opinion, is priceless. -- So yeah, there's my novel if anyone wants a read.

Replies brickster2008 Posted at 1:37 pm on Oct. 7, 2008 Quote: from Jman19 at 2:59 pm on Oct. 7, 2008 Quote: from Acid World at 6:36 am on Oct. 7, 2008 Quote: from Jman19 at 12:10 am on Oct. 7, 2008 Quote: from phosphorescence at 11:55 pm on Oct. 6, 2008 Quote: from Jman19 at 2:31 am on Oct. 7, 2008 I can't feel my dick, if that's what you're wondering. I still get erections though. I could have sex, I just wouldn't feel anything, I suppose.     oh wow. that sucks, dude. that makes me feel really bad. how do you deal with that? not to pry or anything... jw how that effects you in life and relationships and such. that must really bug you :[   I haven't had a sexual relationship since before the accident, so I'm not sure how it would affect me. I don't masturbate, as there's really no point since I can't feel anything lol.    Well now I'm interested.    Since you have no feeling down there do you even really get sexual urges anymore? It seems like it hasn't effected you much, so I'm assuming you just lost your sex drive. Otherwise that would be frustrating as hell.    If you did lose your sex drive though I think that'd be a god-send. Sex already muddles up enough of my thoughts and decisions. I know that some with spinal injuries lose their sex drive completely, but mine isn't actually that much less. Maybe because I'm a male teen, lol. I just try ignore the thoughts as much as possible, but yeah, can get pretty annoying at times. At least it's taught me some self-control. So would you have sex...? Jman19 Posted at 12:59 pm on Oct. 7, 2008 Quote: from Acid World at 6:36 am on Oct. 7, 2008 Quote: from Jman19 at 12:10 am on Oct. 7, 2008 Quote: from phosphorescence at 11:55 pm on Oct. 6, 2008 Quote: from Jman19 at 2:31 am on Oct. 7, 2008 I can't feel my dick, if that's what you're wondering. I still get erections though. I could have sex, I just wouldn't feel anything, I suppose.     oh wow. that sucks, dude. that makes me feel really bad. how do you deal with that? not to pry or anything... jw how that effects you in life and relationships and such. that must really bug you :[    I haven't had a sexual relationship since before the accident, so I'm not sure how it would affect me. I don't masturbate, as there's really no point since I can't feel anything lol. Well now I'm interested. Since you have no feeling down there do you even really get sexual urges anymore? It seems like it hasn't effected you much, so I'm assuming you just lost your sex drive. Otherwise that would be frustrating as hell. If you did lose your sex drive though I think that'd be a god-send. Sex already muddles up enough of my thoughts and decisions. I know that some with spinal injuries lose their sex drive completely, but mine isn't actually that much less. Maybe because I'm a male teen, lol. I just try ignore the thoughts as much as possible, but yeah, can get pretty annoying at times. At least it's taught me some self-control. BeautifulLies82 Posted at 8:59 am on Oct. 7, 2008 That gave me goose bumps. You wrote that you didn't want to confirm your reputation for being late, and this reminded me of my boyfriend, who is always late. I know he doesn't drive safely for fear that I will get mad at him again. From now on I want to make sure he's worried about being safe, not about me being mad. Thank you. Acid World Posted at 6:36 am on Oct. 7, 2008 Quote: from Jman19 at 12:10 am on Oct. 7, 2008 Quote: from phosphorescence at 11:55 pm on Oct. 6, 2008 Quote: from Jman19 at 2:31 am on Oct. 7, 2008 I can't feel my dick, if that's what you're wondering. I still get erections though. I could have sex, I just wouldn't feel anything, I suppose.    oh wow. that sucks, dude. that makes me feel really bad. how do you deal with that? not to pry or anything... jw how that effects you in life and relationships and such. that must really bug you :[ I haven't had a sexual relationship since before the accident, so I'm not sure how it would affect me. I don't masturbate, as there's really no point since I can't feel anything lol. Well now I'm interested. Since you have no feeling down there do you even really get sexual urges anymore? It seems like it hasn't effected you much, so I'm assuming you just lost your sex drive. Otherwise that would be frustrating as hell. If you did lose your sex drive though I think that'd be a god-send. Sex already muddles up enough of my thoughts and decisions. Jman19 Posted at 12:10 am on Oct. 7, 2008 Quote: from phosphorescence at 11:55 pm on Oct. 6, 2008 Quote: from Jman19 at 2:31 am on Oct. 7, 2008 I can't feel my dick, if that's what you're wondering. I still get erections though. I could have sex, I just wouldn't feel anything, I suppose. oh wow. that sucks, dude. that makes me feel really bad. how do you deal with that? not to pry or anything... jw how that effects you in life and relationships and such. that must really bug you :[ I haven't had a sexual relationship since before the accident, so I'm not sure how it would affect me. I don't masturbate, as there's really no point since I can't feel anything lol. phosphorescence Posted at 11:55 pm on Oct. 6, 2008 Quote: from Jman19 at 2:31 am on Oct. 7, 2008 I can't feel my dick, if that's what you're wondering. I still get erections though. I could have sex, I just wouldn't feel anything, I suppose. oh wow. that sucks, dude. that makes me feel really bad. how do you deal with that? not to pry or anything... jw how that effects you in life and relationships and such. that must really bug you :[ Jman19 Posted at 11:31 pm on Oct. 6, 2008 I can't feel my dick, if that's what you're wondering. I still get erections though. I could have sex, I just wouldn't feel anything, I suppose. rickyspeople Posted at 8:04 pm on Oct. 6, 2008 i know i'm not the only one wondering.. how does the equipment work? can you get an erection, or do you have no sensitivity there too? Muser Posted at 12:35 am on Oct. 6, 2008 Kudos to you Acquiring a disability like that during life must be one of the most difficult challenges one will ever face. I too have a physical disability (arm), though I was born with it so I have it far easier than you. And also losing loss of your legs so instantaneously would have been so hard. It's good you've gained some independence, thats always important. Also about your girlfriend. Having a physical disability can be a blessing sometimes, it really sorts out the jerks from the people who are worthwhile. Eventually you're going to find someone who couldn't careless about it. phosphorescence Posted at 2:57 pm on Oct. 5, 2008 crazy. JohnTheNormalOne Posted at 2:44 pm on Oct. 5, 2008 Its so sad to see how your life completely changed in a moment... It must have been very hard for you, like a really bad dream... But, at least, its good to see that you are thinking positively and are returning to normal life as much as possible. I really hope you get to start walking again. Duffasaurus Posted at 8:22 am on Oct. 5, 2008 You could do the wheelchair races! :D Those always looked like fun...But idk, maybe they're not fun when you're finally in the position to do them... :-/ MaryLin Posted at 3:52 am on Oct. 5, 2008 Wow, that's a great story and you don't seem to be negative at all. Do you have any chances to ever start walking again? Jman19 Posted at 12:57 am on Oct. 5, 2008 My girlfriend ended up breaking up with me and moving on. That's OK; obviously she wasn't 'the one'. Thanks for the positive replies and words of encouragement. I hope many read it and reply also. imakethetest66 Posted at 12:09 am on Oct. 5, 2008 I like your story and I hope a lot more people read it and reply. I like how you can still move on with your life even though something such as this happened. You're a strong minded person. I know you get down like the rest of us, but I bet it's easier for you to get back up. Keep going strong, man. 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