Adding Reply Archived Topic: It will not be bumped to the top of the forum. Topic pregnant and terrified Membername   Not a member? Sign Up Free (takes 20 seconds) Password   Forgotten your password? Post Font: Verdana Arial Black Georgia Comic Sans Impact   Size: Tiny Normal Big Huge   Color: Default Dark Red Red Orange Brown Green Olive Cyan Blue Dark Blue Indigo Black [ Check Spelling ] [ Post Preview ] [ LiveTags ] FAQ Keyword Search: Post Options Favorites Manager Notify me of new replies to this topic by email Notify me of new replies to this topic by private message Original Post Lustx Posted at 5:00 pm on Oct. 2, 2008 Almost two months ago I was raped by my so-called boyfriend, and yesterday I discovered that I am pregnant.. I am more terrified and lost than I have ever been before. I am only 13 years old, I literally just started high school, I am nowhere near being old enough to get any kind of job, there is absolutely no way I can support a baby... my parents are divorced and I am terrified to tell either of them because I know how disappointed and angry they will be with me, and I don't want to burden them with a child that shouldn't even be here... I am terrified to tell father of my child as well... plus, what will all the other kids at school say when they see a 13 year old, 4'7 girl walking around with a pregnant stomach? I do not want to get an abortion because I am strongly against it... but honest to god, I just do not know what to do... I used my allowance get a pregnancy test because I have not been feeling well and a terrifying suspicion crossed my mind. When I saw that little plus sign on that tiny screen, life literally just stopped. I dropped it on the floor and I literally just stood for at least ten minutes and stared at it. Then I ran into my room and cried for what must have honestly been hours... I wish a fairy could come and just take all my pain away.

Replies ZOMGimrae Posted at 8:25 am on Oct. 3, 2008 Quote: from Lustx at 8:02 pm on Oct. 2, 2008 Quote: from Riot at 5:01 pm on Oct. 2, 2008 Try giving it up for adoption.     No. I don't believe in that.. Honestly. If you dont believe in abortion or adoption you're fucked. Your only other option is to keep the baby. Glow Worm Posted at 7:15 pm on Oct. 2, 2008 Sweetie, you are so naive. I know you're young and I know that this sort of thing never would have crossed your mind, but right now you need to think about your future and not just put your foot down because you don't believe in something that I doubt you've ever thought much about. At 13 most people have beliefs based on what people have told them rather than based on their own values, because at 13 your values are constantly developing and changing. At this point, nothing is going to "feel" right. You need to think about this situation logically rather than emotionally.  If you sit around and think about how you feel about this, you'll never be able to get out of bed because there are going to be way too many emotions for such a young girl to deal with. I'm a lot older than you and I know I would struggle with it, and it's nothing to be ashamed of that you're feeling confused and questioning what you've previously believed in. Use your cognitive thinking skills, and use your logic. I know that you know this could ruin your life. You know that keeping this baby is not only financially inadvisable and emotionally stunting, but that it just does not make sense. Teenagers, especially at your age when you're right in puberty, are not meant to successfully carry a child.  Teens are at a higher risk for many pregnancy related health problems and are significantly less likely to carry a healthy baby to term. Your body is going through so many changes right now and the last thing it needs is a pregnancy to mess up everything your hormones are trying to accomplish. You're so young, and getting emotional is easy, but you need to think about long term plans. Can you afford to move out on your own? Can you pay your own bills? Can you buy your own food and prepare healthy meals? Can you buy your own clothes, school supplies, furniture, everything that you would need if you're on your own? And then can you do that for both yourself and a baby? You can't. Not at 13, it's just not feasible. And honestly, if you're getting so tangled up in your emotions that you can't even see that an abortion is probably in your best interest right now, I just can't see you being able to give a baby away to another couple, even if you know it's the best thing for the child. I just want to be really clear about something: I think you should have an abortion. I think you probably haven't looked into it and I think you probably haven't thought about it seriously enough. That being said, if it's something you truly don't feel comfortable with, that is your choice as a woman. But once you've decided to bring another human being into the world, you absolutely need to give up your own wants and needs. You're not going to want to give a baby up for adoption, and you're not going to want to go to pre natal check ups and talk about your bowel movements and have doctors poking around at your vagina and those sort of appointments are all sorts of uncomfortable for everyone. But if you've decided to carry this pregnancy, then you better be prepared to give up your own comfort and your own reputation and your own pride to give this baby the best possible start.   I think you know you couldn't possibly raise this child, and I think that if you're able to wade through your emotions and figure out what's best for you, then I applaud you. If you truly don't agree with abortion, and you're dead set on carrying this pregnancy to the end, then you need to do what's best for that baby, and what's best for a baby is being raised by an emotionally, financially, and physically stable adult, and not by a 13 year old girl. jenjenpoo Posted at 6:37 pm on Oct. 2, 2008 Quote: from laineyloo at 5:40 pm on Oct. 2, 2008 Hey there, What a very tough and scary situation you are in right now. I'm so sorry to hear what you have been dealing with and dealing with alone. I'm going to split this up into sections for you so I can deal with each thing you have said as I have a bit to say to you. Rape Rape is wrong and nobody deserves this to happen to them. Nobody. You didn't deserve this to happen to you. Do you understand that? This is not your fault. This is your boyfriends fault. He raped you. Did you ever report this rape? I think it should be reported as soon as possible. He doesn't deserve to get away with what happened too you. I know you are probably terrified to go to the police over this but you must to it soon.   I was reading your last topic. (This one) Is this the same boyfriend? He is 21? Do you understand that he will be done for statutory rape if you report him? I'm not sure of your location in Canada, but wherever it is, the age of consent is more than 13, everywhere. Statutory rape is defined as sex with someone who is under the age of consent which is what he did you too.   Have you talked to anyone about being raped? I feel like its important that you don't keep this to yourself. I suggest you talk to a close friend you trust about what happened too you and then talk to your parents. They will not be ashamed or disappointed in you. Remember what happened was not your fault.   Here are a few links on how to get over rape; Click! Click! Pregnancy Being 13 and pregnant is extremely difficult. Nobody would be ready for a baby at 13. You said so yourself. You can't look after a baby. You can't support a baby. What should you do? You have three options here; (1) Keep you baby, (2) Adoption and (3) Abortion. (1) Keep you baby Keeping your baby takes on a lot of responsibility. More than you, at 13, would be able to handle. I have already touched on this up above. I don't think you would be ready to handle a baby. Even when your parents find out what has happened, it will still be difficult to be able to cope. Babies are expensive. You can't get a job since your too young and still in school. So would have to rely on your parents financial support.   (2) Adoption Adoption is a good option for you. You will be able to give your baby a good home. To people that want a child and will be able to support a child in everywhere a baby needs to be supported. Emotionally and financially. I feel like this would be the best option for you in this situation. (3) Abortion. You have already stated that you are against abortion. That is fair enough. I don't think I will say any more on abortion, then. This is already out of the picture.   Like I said, adoption sounds like the best idea for you. You will be able to give you baby to a loving, caring family and be able to enjoy your adolescence. Like you should be. However, this decision is up too you. When you talk to your family, they will probably help you decide what is best for you. Depending on what your parents think, maybe they will be alright with helping you out, maybe they won't and would like you to decide something else. Boyfriend Although, I'm not an expert on law, I don't think your boyfriend will get away with what he has done too you. Your best bet is to talk to your parents about pressing charges on him. Then getting a lawyer. I think he will end up going to prison for this though. As for telling your boyfriend about the baby. Do you think he will care? After he raped you, I doubt he would want to even know. He seems to only care for himself and nobody else. He is a complete asshole and doesn't deserve the time of day after what he has done to you and what he is putting you through.   Other people   You mentioned briefly about what others would think of you. What other people think of you shouldn't matter what so ever. They don't know anything about you. And don't know what happened to you. So, don't let what other think get to down. You have been through enough and don't need more stress added to your plate, now do you?     I really hoped I helped you somehow. I wish you the best of luck, sweetie. You're a brave young girl. Please, feel free to message me anytime if you ever like to talk. Good luck! i agree with this post. i dont have much more to add but i just want to say that you should really consider what's been said here and i hope that you can make a choice you are happy with. also, if you can find someone to support you (parents, relatives) then it's possible for them to help you  with bringing up the child. im sorry that its possible ppl will judge you when they see that you are pregnant, but it's not your fault and i hope you find the strength to just deal with it (and ignore other peopels assumptions) good luck! Chiefette Posted at 6:30 pm on Oct. 2, 2008 You were raped, that isn't your fault, your parents shouldn't be disappointed in you.   BubbleCake Posted at 5:40 pm on Oct. 2, 2008 Hey there, What a very tough and scary situation you are in right now. I'm so sorry to hear what you have been dealing with and dealing with alone. I'm going to split this up into sections for you so I can deal with each thing you have said as I have a bit to say to you. Rape Rape is wrong and nobody deserves this to happen to them. Nobody. You didn't deserve this to happen to you. Do you understand that? This is not your fault. This is your boyfriends fault. He raped you. Did you ever report this rape? I think it should be reported as soon as possible. He doesn't deserve to get away with what happened too you. I know you are probably terrified to go to the police over this but you must to it soon.   I was reading your last topic. (This one) Is this the same boyfriend? He is 21? Do you understand that he will be done for statutory rape if you report him? I'm not sure of your location in Canada, but wherever it is, the age of consent is more than 13, everywhere. Statutory rape is defined as sex with someone who is under the age of consent which is what he did you too.   Have you talked to anyone about being raped? I feel like its important that you don't keep this to yourself. I suggest you talk to a close friend you trust about what happened too you and then talk to your parents. They will not be ashamed or disappointed in you. Remember what happened was not your fault.   Here are a few links on how to get over rape; Click! Click! Pregnancy Being 13 and pregnant is extremely difficult. Nobody would be ready for a baby at 13. You said so yourself. You can't look after a baby. You can't support a baby. What should you do? You have three options here; (1) Keep you baby, (2) Adoption and (3) Abortion. (1) Keep you baby Keeping your baby takes on a lot of responsibility. More than you, at 13, would be able to handle. I have already touched on this up above. I don't think you would be ready to handle a baby. Even when your parents find out what has happened, it will still be difficult to be able to cope. Babies are expensive. You can't get a job since your too young and still in school. So would have to rely on your parents financial support.   (2) Adoption Adoption is a good option for you. You will be able to give your baby a good home. To people that want a child and will be able to support a child in everywhere a baby needs to be supported. Emotionally and financially. I feel like this would be the best option for you in this situation. (3) Abortion. You have already stated that you are against abortion. That is fair enough. I don't think I will say any more on abortion, then. This is already out of the picture.   Like I said, adoption sounds like the best idea for you. You will be able to give you baby to a loving, caring family and be able to enjoy your adolescence. Like you should be. However, this decision is up too you. When you talk to your family, they will probably help you decide what is best for you. Depending on what your parents think, maybe they will be alright with helping you out, maybe they won't and would like you to decide something else. Boyfriend Although, I'm not an expert on law, I don't think your boyfriend will get away with what he has done too you. Your best bet is to talk to your parents about pressing charges on him. Then getting a lawyer. I think he will end up going to prison for this though. As for telling your boyfriend about the baby. Do you think he will care? After he raped you, I doubt he would want to even know. He seems to only care for himself and nobody else. He is a complete asshole and doesn't deserve the time of day after what he has done to you and what he is putting you through.   Other people   You mentioned briefly about what others would think of you. What other people think of you shouldn't matter what so ever. They don't know anything about you. And don't know what happened to you. So, don't let what other think get to down. You have been through enough and don't need more stress added to your plate, now do you? I really hoped I helped you somehow. I wish you the best of luck, sweetie. You're a brave young girl. Please, feel free to message me anytime if you ever like to talk. Good luck! Greater than Angels Posted at 5:30 pm on Oct. 2, 2008 Oh my god... you poor girl. I don't agree with these people who are telling you to get an abortion. You really need to tell your parents everything that has happened to you - this was not your fault. If they love you, they will help and support you through this horribly difficult time. Please tell them, so they can help you, and so you can discuss your options. Are there any alternatives? Are there any other relatives that would be willing to care for your child until you are able to do so yourself? I really, really hope they put this disgusting excuse for a human being who hurt you behind bars. I'm praying for you, sweetheart. Best wishes, honey. Please keep us updated on your situation. sexilexi2998 Posted at 5:26 pm on Oct. 2, 2008 Your not ready first tell your  parents that you were raped then tell them that you got pregnant cause of it. After that go to your famly gyenicogist and talk about options.Tell them that you don't want an abortion. hunnybear137 Posted at 5:15 pm on Oct. 2, 2008 oh my goodness i was reading some of the responses and i don't think you should listen to any one. i mean you don't have to listen to me either. you shouldn't listen to what other people have to say about this topic. I am very sorry that you were rapped especially as a young girl. No one should convince you to get an abortion. not that scum bag of an ass hole that you called your boyfriend and not even to you parents. If you don't want one that is fine, and if you want to keep it its fine as well. I'm not going to say it is easy because its not, but you will dif. have support, your parents regardless how they feel will have your back. and if not, there is always the government and tax payers money. I am very sorry to hear your sad story. best wishes BleedingSteelWings Posted at 5:13 pm on Oct. 2, 2008 do it as early as you can. only when it's tangibly developed will there be problems. wavelength84 Posted at 5:13 pm on Oct. 2, 2008 Quote: from Lustx at 8:08 pm on Oct. 2, 2008 Quote: from wavelength84 at 5:07 pm on Oct. 2, 2008 Quote: from Lustx at 8:02 pm on Oct. 2, 2008 Quote: from Riot at 5:01 pm on Oct. 2, 2008 Try giving it up for adoption.       No. I don't believe in that..    whats wrong with adoption? It just wouldn't feel right, someone I don't even know bringing up my child... there are thousands of unfertile married couples in this country that would raise a baby from birth.  and if youre only thirteen and you dont want to have to depend on youre parents, it will be the best way for your baby to have a great life.   Desertfoxel Posted at 5:12 pm on Oct. 2, 2008 Quote: from Lustx at 5:10 pm on Oct. 2, 2008 Quote: from Desertfoxel at 5:09 pm on Oct. 2, 2008 get an abortion before it turns a month old, i honestly dont believe in god, i use reason and thought, and following gods will is sometimes not the best thing, do what you want to do, not what god thinks is wrong, and because people who are against abortion say its like a really bad thing doesn't mean it is, if you are a fan of george carlin you will know what i am talking about.    you should tell your parents, its the right thing to do, and if you are a religious person dont forget the fifth commandment  "Honor your father and your mother..." I am almost two months pregnant already... still get an abortion, you know your not ready for this, and this child could end up ruining your life, just get the abortion Lustx Posted at 5:10 pm on Oct. 2, 2008 Quote: from Desertfoxel at 5:09 pm on Oct. 2, 2008 get an abortion before it turns a month old, i honestly dont believe in god, i use reason and thought, and following gods will is sometimes not the best thing, do what you want to do, not what god thinks is wrong, and because people who are against abortion say its like a really bad thing doesn't mean it is, if you are a fan of george carlin you will know what i am talking about. you should tell your parents, its the right thing to do, and if you are a religious person dont forget the fifth commandment   "Honor your father and your mother..." I am almost two months pregnant already... hersheyparker Posted at 5:10 pm on Oct. 2, 2008 You should talk to a counselor who can discuss your options. Try talking to your parents because they can't be angry when that terrible boy raped you. Also you should make him pay child support if you keep it. emilybee Posted at 5:10 pm on Oct. 2, 2008 immm soo sorry thats such a scary feelingg:( you can talk to me if you want? Desertfoxel Posted at 5:09 pm on Oct. 2, 2008 get an abortion before it turns a month old, i honestly dont believe in god, i use reason and thought, and following gods will is sometimes not the best thing, do what you want to do, not what god thinks is wrong, and because people who are against abortion say its like a really bad thing doesn't mean it is, if you are a fan of george carlin you will know what i am talking about. you should tell your parents, its the right thing to do, and if you are a religious person dont forget the fifth commandment "Honor your father and your mother..." Most recent 15 of 28 previous replies displayed.