Adding Reply Archived Topic: It will not be bumped to the top of the forum. Topic So thats why I haven't had a girlfriend? Membername   Not a member? Sign Up Free (takes 20 seconds) Password   Forgotten your password? Post Font: Verdana Arial Black Georgia Comic Sans Impact   Size: Tiny Normal Big Huge   Color: Default Dark Red Red Orange Brown Green Olive Cyan Blue Dark Blue Indigo Black [ Check Spelling ] [ Post Preview ] [ LiveTags ] FAQ Keyword Search: Post Options Favorites Manager Notify me of new replies to this topic by email Notify me of new replies to this topic by private message Original Post Anonymous Posted at 1:45 pm on Jan. 14, 2009 So I have been going to a counsellor for about 4 months now and a coupe of days ago he gave me his evaluation of why I have such a difficult time making friends. But out of the blue he asked me if I had a  girlfriend(he already knew the answer) and asked what has happened to all the girls I liked up to the point in my life now. 4 of them I never told, and the 5 I tried to and we got really close but she put me in the friends zone. He asked why there hasn't been a  sixth one sense then and I don't know why. I was put into the friends zone in March. The chances of me not finding a new intrest were very low yet I was able to do it. He had an answer though. See, one of the reasons that I have difficulty making friends is because I am lazy. I think about saying hello or not rather than just doing it, or caring. Apparently if I don't have to I wont. And he applied it to my relationship situation. Because I worked so hard and got stuck in the friends zone, I really don't want to try again because I am lazy. Now I know how much work is required to get a girl to the asking out  phase(about 6 months in) and I don't want to do it because its is that much work.... How do I overcome that? I see what he means now, it is alot of work, and it may not even work out. I need help! BTW it takes me awhile to get comfortable to talk to people.

Replies hithere Posted at 5:09 pm on Jan. 15, 2009 just wait until you feel comfortable. a couple years ago that's what i decided to do and i've been fine. You'll eventually have moments where it's easy to break the trend of inaction. Anonymous Posted at 3:58 pm on Jan. 15, 2009 Quote: from starla91 at 4:04 pm on Jan. 14, 2009 if you have that much trouble talking to girls, maybe you should talking to your counsellor about that. Change the way you think and perceive things :/ Change your thinking pattern I don't have problems talking with girls/just people in general. And yes, I am going to a psychaitrist about it. backwardswimmer Posted at 3:54 pm on Jan. 15, 2009 I've had a similar problem before but I doubt that it is because of laziness, I came to the conclusion that I was not making many friends, or ever haveing a gf cuz i couldn't trust people enough. Try to be more open to other people and be more outgoing and spontaneous. starla91 Posted at 2:04 pm on Jan. 14, 2009 if you have that much trouble talking to girls, maybe you should talking to your counsellor about that. Change the way you think and perceive things :/ Change your thinking pattern starla91 Posted at 2:03 pm on Jan. 14, 2009 If you really want something you've got to fight for it. I mean, anything that's worth having requires effort. It takes time and energy. It really stinks, but if having a girlfriend is something you want then you have got to mke you put in the effort it requires. If a few girls shoot you down it dosn't mean that there's something wrong with you, because there's not. I'm sure you're a decent kid. Just keep trying. It sucks, but if you lose motivation keep reminding yourself of the affection you'll receive at the end. Once you've achieved it, the journey there won't seem so bad. Anonymous Posted at 2:00 pm on Jan. 14, 2009 Quote: from RAGEMAN at 3:54 pm on Jan. 14, 2009 6 months? I think you've got a quack on your hands. You don't need to be 6 months deep to ask a girl out. More like what someone else said. You could be flirting and shit for 2 weeks and then go out. I went out with one girl I knew in school the first day of us actually hanging out outside of school. We had sex that day. It wasn't smart, the relationship crashed after a month, but the point is you can go out with people whenever you want. I am not comfortable around someone, not just girl after 2 weeks. It actually took me 2 years befrore those 6 months to get the courage to say something to her. Anonymous Posted at 1:57 pm on Jan. 14, 2009 Quote: from starla91 at 3:51 pm on Jan. 14, 2009 Do you really want girlfriend? I mean do you think it's worth the effort and the gamble?   6 months is a long time, it's a big investment. Couldn't you try sending love notes to the girl you like? Girls like that kind of junk. The downside would be that you might not be comfortable talking to them:/. Maybe if you spot an interesting chick you can send her/ leave her a note with your msn or aim or whatever and ask her to add you, then you can try talking to her theere for a few weeks. If you guys click there you can ask if she wants to go out some time irl and if she says 'no' then you've only invested a few weeks? I want one, kinda badly. But I don't think the chances that are taken are safe enough Synthetic Posted at 1:56 pm on Jan. 14, 2009 You have to learn about all the things that make you happy before you worry about making others happy.  Who your talking to doesn't seem to help much in that department, learn you first, take care of you, do you, forget what you can offer to others, offer yourself something, get some hobbies so you have interest so you can build relationships with people, not think about the how you "could" fit in with people but how you fit in yourself, how do you feel about you? RAGEMAN Posted at 1:54 pm on Jan. 14, 2009 6 months? I think you've got a quack on your hands. You don't need to be 6 months deep to ask a girl out. More like what someone else said. You could be flirting and shit for 2 weeks and then go out. I went out with one girl I knew in school the first day of us actually hanging out outside of school. We had sex that day. It wasn't smart, the relationship crashed after a month, but the point is you can go out with people whenever you want. starla91 Posted at 1:51 pm on Jan. 14, 2009 Do you really want  girlfriend? I mean do you think it's worth the effort and the gamble? 6 months is a long time, it's a big investment. Couldn't you try sending love notes to the girl you like? Girls like that kind of junk. The downside would be that you might not be comfortable talking to them:/. Maybe if you spot an interesting chick you can send her/ leave her a note with your msn or aim or whatever and ask her to add you, then you can try talking to her theere for a few weeks. If you guys click there you can ask if she wants to go out some time irl and if she says 'no' then you've only invested a few weeks? drkberry Posted at 1:50 pm on Jan. 14, 2009 u need to ask the chic  out in the 2nd week of knowing her. Natsy Posted at 1:48 pm on Jan. 14, 2009 i remember this being posted before... and i still don't have an answer for you, sorry :/ All 12 previous replies displayed.